Waiting For You
by matteney
Summary: College Mondler. Will be somewhat AU. Not sure how this will develop, but I ensure you that I am a hardcore Mondler shipper, so they will definitely be end game. The title of this story is taken from the amazing band Grizfolk. - currently on hiatus -
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I realise this is super short, but it serves as a sort of introductory chapter, so please bear with me and let me know what you think of this so far and I do hope you will continue reading!**

7 hours, 43 minutes and 14 seconds. That's how long she had been on her own now. And that was also how long the doubts had been nagging at the back of her mind now. Just a week ago, everything had seemed so downright simple. Moving out in order to attend culinary school had been Monica's dream since she was a little girl. She had always wondered what it would be like to finally live on her own, not having to worry whether every little move she made was met with criticism from Judy. But now she just felt insecure and lonely. It was another week until classes would start, but she figured she would move out rather earlier than later to get better acquainted and such. She took another breath as she finished unpacking the last box of her stuff, neatly folding the boxes and putting them in the corner behind her wardrobe. So this was it, her new life.

Another hour had passed and Monica was now sitting on her bed, flipping through multiple TV channels, stopping when some cooking show appeared on screen. She put the remote down, but the TV did not really catch her attention. She heard laughter in the hallway and for a millisecond she thought about opening the door so she could introduce herself, but she pushed the thought away as quickly as it had entered her mind in the first place. Monica was not one to easily make new friends, she knew that she had some neuroses and was not as easygoing as her college fellows. After all, she could not imagine playing a game without paying attention to its rules - rules just help to control the fun!

She shook her head at her internal thoughts and looked back at the screen, watching the chef as he chopped some onions with astonishing speed. She wondered if she could afford to dream of such a career. Maybe her mother was right after all; she didn't even have a boyfriend! _Oh, don't open that door_, she bit her lip hard as she choked down tears. No, she would not live in a world where her mother was right! Grabbing the remote control, she quickly switched off the TV and got her keys and jacket, heading for the door. She will find friends. And she will find a boyfriend. And she will study as hard as she possibly can so she can get her dream job. From now on, everything will be different. As the door clicked shut behind her, she knew that the world was her oyster. But little did she know that all she had ever wanted was waiting for her right around the corner.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thanks for the reviews on chapter one that you gave me already, I'm glad people are giving this story a chance! And as promised (and perhaps even quicker than you had imagined) I present to you - chapter two!**

"Jeez, Ross, I am not going to proof-watch your fossil slides. No way," Chandler threw the tennis ball against the wall of their dorm room, watching as it bounced back into his direction. He had already agreed to sit through one of Ross's insanely boring slide shows during their first year in college and it had been one of the biggest regrets of his life. He knew he would never get those 60 minutes back.

Ross looked up from his paper about the punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era and put his pen down, somewhat desperate. "Come on, Chandler, this is going to be the last time, I promise." He knew that Chandler was his only real friend at college, at least outside of his 'dinosaur geeks' group of friends, and he valued their friendship a lot. "If you do this I let you sing the chorus of the next song we perform," Ross tried to persuade him, referring to their recently-found band 'Way, No Way!' that he knew would be a huge success, they just needed more time and practise. Chandler caught the tennis ball for the umpteenth time as he let out a desperate sigh. He knew there was no backing out of this one. But just when he thought he had lost all of his willpower and dignity, the door opened and Chandler was saved by a beautiful but rather depressed-looking girl about the same age as his.

"Monica, what are you doing here?" Ross instantly got up from his swivel chair and closed the gap between himself and the gorgeous stranger whose name was Monica, Chandler knew that much by now. He watched as Ross hugged the girl, but he had no idea who exactly she was and why she was here. His mind wandered and he did not even notice that he was staring at her now, obviously drooling over her beauty. He was only taken back to reality when Ross cleared his throat in an extremely loud and annoying manner, both of them looking at Chandler now as well. He was praying for some smart or at least funny comment to be on the tip of his tongue, but just like always when he was met with a beautiful female, his words failed him and he just stuttered something along the lines of 'Flaign, en - sten' and extracted his hand. To his surprise, the afore-mentioned Monica shot him a small grin as she shook his hand. "I suppose you are Chandler." He must have looked even more stupid than before when she mentioned his name. Either she was some mind-reader or she had heard of him before. "Ross has already mentioned you a few times," she nodded, explaining herself. "You're the guy who got him into those trendy 'Flock-of-Seagulls haircuts', I hear," she snickered somewhat, but Chandler noticed that she still looked upset. "Uh, yeah. That would have been my fault," he had finally regained his ability to form words as he planted his buttocks back in his chair, picking up the tennis ball again.

Ross was still standing next to Monica, having watched the scene closely. Even though Chandler had picked up the ball and was now resuming his previous activity, he could tell that the dynamics had shifted ever since Monica had entered their room. He would confront Chandler later about it, that he knew. "Chandler, Monica is my sister. I told you about that, remember?" Ross watched as the ball bounced off the wall and hit Chandler right in the face, causing him to fall off the chair with a surprised and rather girly shriek. Monica suppressed a laugh as she sat down on Ross' bed, shooting an amused look at Ross.

_She's his sister! Right!_ Chandler knew he had heard the name Monica before, but granted, Ross talked about fossils 80% of the time, closely followed by stories about how amazing Carol, his girlfriend, was. So it was just natural that Chandler never really listened to his roommate's stories and had completely missed out on all the details on Monica. Another reason why Chandler would kick himself later. For now he just focused his attention on the tennis ball in his hands, the pulsating pain on his forehead and the beautiful girl on Ross' bed.

"What's up? Did you already meet some people at your dorm?" Ross asked, knowing his sister looked troubled and that he needed to find out why. Monica winced internally as she tried to remember why on earth she had decided to come to her brother's dorm and to ask him for advice. Oh yes, because she was lonely. Not because she was so close with Ross or because he understood her. Hell, if anything he had no idea how she felt. Even though the Geller siblings had grown up together and shared the same parents, Ross had always been their parents' favourite. For a moment, Monica was wondering whether she should tell him the truth.

"Mon?" Her older brother's voice ended her day-dream and she decided against telling him. She would be okay. "Uh, it's nothing. I just had some spare time and figured why not visit you, since we live close now and everything." She faked a smile and pushed some of her dark hair behind her ear. Chandler watched her intently and even though he had never met her, there was something in her behaviour that reminded him of himself. He watched as Ross just shrugged his shoulders, a smile on his lips again as he dismissed his sister's troubles and started to chat about Carol and the fact that she played in **both **the lacrosse and the golf team. Chandler just rolled his eyes at his roommate's inability to detect other people's concerns as he resumed his task of throwing the tennis ball against the wall.

Monica only half listened to what Ross was going on about, she was still completely in thoughts about her own problems. She swore she saw Chandler roll his eyes before played with his ball again and for a tiny fraction of time she was wondering whether she could confide in him. Then she remembered that she barely knew him. But maybe, just maybe, he could be her first new friend in this brand new chapter of her life. They exchanged a small smile as Ross continued to talk about stuff that obviously neither of them had any interest in.

Two hours and a couple of beers later, Monica decided to head back to her dorm. She was suddenly incredibly tired, knowing that the reason for this was mostly Ross' boring talk about fossils and his undying love and obsession with Carol. All that she knew now was that she did not feel any better than she had done before she came here. Well, except for those moments when Chandler got hit in the face by a tennis ball maybe. She chuckled again at the thought as she grabbed her jacket and said goodbye to the boys.

Just when the front door of the dorm had closed behind her and she was engulfed by the crisp evening air, a hand on her shoulder stopped her. Behind her was Chandler, somewhat out of breath from trying to keep up with her quick pace. "Hey," he managed to choke out, still fighting for air. Monica looked at him, surprised and intrigued by why he had followed her. Chandler looked back at her and tried to find the right words to explain himself to her. _God, what was he doing? He barely even knew her! _He looked down now and shuffled his feet, his shoes suddenly very interesting. "I just... I wanted you to know that if you ever wanna talk about stuff that bothers you... I'm here." He mentally kicked himself for his own stupidity. Surely she would laugh into his face now and feel creeped out. But what came next startled him. She did neither. Instead, he saw fresh tears pooling in her eyes and he had no idea what to do. Crying women made him feel even more uncomfortable than telling people that his father had a gay burlesque show in Vegas, and that said a lot about him. All of a sudden, Monica was well-aware of the fact that she knew nobody here and even though Chandler had seemed like some incredibly clumsy and insecure guy, he had done everything right now. She noticed that tears were forming in her eyes as she laughed softly, fumbling for a tissue, sensing he was obviously tense and umcomfortable now. "I'm sorry. It's just... nobody has ever asked how I'm doing, you know?" She shook her head, still surprised by her own boldness towards a stranger. But somehow, Chandler did not seem like a stranger at all. He watched as she wiped away her tears and he was still in disbelief by how similar both of them seemed. "Oh, I know that feeling all too well, believe me," he retorted, immediately remembering his awful childhood and the disinterest his parents had for their son. Monica looked up into his blue eyes and that was when she knew that this was not just some dumb line. He had been there too. There was hurt in his eyes and she was sure that someone like Ross did not notice, but she saw it. It was the same expression that her own blue eyes held. And there was no doubt that Chandler also noticed the hurt in her eyes. She did not know where this friendship would take her, but she knew that it would be good for her. She had nothing to lose and neither did he. Smiling softly, she squeezed his hand. "Thank you. I could really use someone right now." Chandler smiled back at her as he nodded. "You're welcome." Then he paused, not entirely sure about his next move. "Shall I drop you off at your dorm? It's not the wisest decision to walk around the grounds on your own." Monica raised her eyebrow as she turned around and started walking, Chandler tagging along. "Is that so? Well, then you better protect me." The grin on Chandler's face was bigger than it had ever been and he was sure he looked like an idiot, but somehow, deep within, he knew that this would be the beginning of a great friendship. And perhaps even more.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Thank you all so much for the amazing and overwhelming feedback! This chapter features some bonding between Monica and Chandler, but I don't want to give away too much. Just note that not much will be happening in this chapter (and perhaps not in the next few) as I'm still establishing the characters etc, but I don't think that (Pre) Mondler cuteness has ever hurt anyone. More feedback will be greatly appreciated!**

Monica was checking the recipe in front of her for the millionth time, her scrupulously precise nature taking over once more. This was her first important assignment and she could not afford to make any mistakes. She was a perfectionist and even though she tried her hardest to not let it show too often, her competitiveness got the best of her again. But as opposed to other students, she did this to prove to herself that she could do it, not for her parents or anybody else. Just when she had finished to chop the onions there was a knock on her door. A big grin spread across her features when she knew that her self-pronounced taste tester had arrived. The stress of having to prepare a perfect meal vanished for a minute and was replaced by the anticipation of seeing her best friend again. It had only been three weeks since Monica had met Chandler for the first time, but the two had grown to be inseparable. Monica caught herself quickly fixing her messy hair before she opened the door to her dorm with an enthusiastic swing. "Hey, there's my human guinea pig!" She mocked as she lead him in after a friendly hug.

Chandler followed her inside and was already amazed by the delicious smells that were filling the air of her small room. "Well, if it tastes as good as it smells then I don't think I have a problem with that," he retorted, quickly making himself at home as he took a seat on Monica's bed. Just as quickly as she had changed her mood when Chandler had arrived, she was now hurrying over to her small kitchen again, continuing with the preparations. "I just lost a minute on my schedule," she mumbled and quickly jotted down something on her note pad. Chandler just let out an amused chuckle, taking Monica's teddy bear into his arms that had been sitting on her neatly made bed. He had been used to his friend's competitiveness and OCD by now and he had to admit to himself that he found it quite endearing. You could ask Chandler what his favourite pastime was and he'd tell you that it involved watching Monica get freaked out by a water ring on a glass table, or her nervousness when someone didn't place the cap on one of her markers in the correct way. And the correct way was 'The Monica way' - you have to hear them 'click'. Still completely lost in thought and a stupid grin plastered upon his face, Chandler only snapped back into reality when Monica's voice repeated his name for the third time. "Chandler, are you still alive?"

He quickly looked over at her, his attention focused on her again. "If I wasn't and you still got me to talk then you're rich," he quipped as Monica just rolled her eyes. She was used to his constant joking already and actually found it quite adorable, she just didn't try to let it show. Just like she used her competitiveness and her OCD to distract people from her weak side, Chandler used his humour as a defense mechanism. Monica knew by now that it was hard to get into his mind, he seemed afraid to share his feelings, especially when it came to his childhood. But Monica was determined to find out more about him, she just hadn't didn't know how yet.

"Everything will be ready in about 15 minutes," Monica let out a small sigh of relief as she plopped next to Chandler on her bed. "Good cos I'm starving!" Chandler fumbled with the teddy bear's little bow as he smirked. "You know, now that I think about it - it's really great to have a friend who goes to culinary school. That way I never have to cook myself and an entire year of that campus fast food is enough to have numbed my taste buds anyway." He made a grimace more to himself than to Monica as he leaned against the wall. "Oh yes, how convenient," Monica remarked. "Now tell me again: what are the advantages of me being friends with _you _again?" Chandler smirked when she crawled over to him and leaned her back against the wall as well. "Apart from the great gentle comedy you mean?" She let out a soft laugh and closed her eyes for a second. They both settled into a comfortable silence until Chandler spoke again. "So this is your first serious assignement, right? Are you nervous about it?" Monica thought about it for a bit until she playfully took the teddy bear out of Chandler's grasp. "A bit. I mean, I know that I can do it and I've practised a lot... but I'm afraid my teacher might not like it." Chandler raised his eyebrow as he watched how Monica's slender fingers played with the bear's ears nervously. "Hey, I know I haven't tasted it yet and it might be completely gross," he paused to see her smirk, "but I am absolutely sure that you do not have to doubt yourself at all. You're smart, talented and very determined. You'll do great."

Ever since Monica had met Chandler, she was wondering how on earth he managed to always find the right words. It surprised her even more considering he was so insecure about his own abilities and constantly doubted himself. "Thanks," she smiled softly and looked at him after a few seconds. His head was leaning against the wall as he stared at her in the most adorable way she had ever been looked at, a smile upon his lips as well. "So, how's your writing assignment coming along?" she probed carefully, still wanting to find out more about him. "Ah," he returned his gaze to his feet dangling off her small bed as if he thought he could find an answer there. "I have to hand it in in two weeks, but to be honest I'm suffering from a bit of writer's block." Monica watched him intently, silently admiring his handsome features and his sharp nose. She didn't know how long she had been staring at him like that, but the oven timer's shrill alarm brought her back into reality. She got up quickly, clearing her throat on the way over to the small kitchen unit. "I'm sorry about that. Maybe I can help you too. You know, we could come up with a mind map. And there are other great methods to help brainstorm in a case of writer's block," she remarked casually as she got the food out of the oven. Chandler had turned so he was facing the kitchen where Monica was busy putting the last touches on the food. He stared at her incredulously. "What?" She mocked when she saw the look upon his face. "Uh, nothing. It's just... you surprise me every single day, Monica Geller." She smirked as she carefully directed her attention to arranging the food on their plates, making sure the dish was perfectly aligned with the pattern of the china she had once inherited from her grandmother and brought along to this place.

Chandler got up and had quickly reached the small table for two that Monica had prepared for them. All of a sudden, he noticed the two wine glasses and the candle in the middle of the wooden table, oddly being reminded of the atmosphere of a real date. He quickly pushed the thought away and gave Monica a smile as they both sat down, Monica somewhat tense whether Chandler would approve of what she had worked on. He had barely shoved the food into his mouth when a clear sound of approval escaped his mouth. Monica smiled, somewhat satisfied she at least had convinced Chandler of her cooking skills. When he finally found some space in his mouth to speak again, Monica couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "Mon, seriously, this is amazing! You should stop worrying, you're gonna ace that assignment!" A fresh wave of affection went through her as she realised how incredibly thankful she was to have Chandler in her life. She still couldn't believe they had just met each other not too long ago for he had helped her in so many ways already. She knew she could be uptight and hard to live with at times, but Chandler seemed like the perfect antipole to her own high-maintenance. When she had finished her train of thought, she noticed that he had already eaten all of his food. She grinned and shook her head. And then, she couldn't hold it in any longer, she started to laugh. And he joined her.

"Are you sure you don't want to say the night? It's already 2am anyway and it's a rather long walk back to your dorm," Monica couldn't help but yawn as she looked at Chandler, who had told her for the tenth time tonight that he would head back home now. "You know, you're the one who warned me that it's not a wise decision to walk the grounds on your own," she then mocked and he knew it was a lost cause. "You're right, I should probably just stay. Plus, that way I will get breakfast tomorrow morning as well," he winked at her as he turned over and, as if it was the first time that he noticed it, stared at her small bed. "Uhh. I'll just sleep on the floor with a blanket and a pillow, if you've got some?" He then looked over at her. "Nah, that's fine, we can sleep in my bed together. That's all I've got here at the moment," she said apologetically, yawning for the second time within a few minutes. "I'll quickly change, just get comfortable." Chandler watched her disappear before turning his attention back to the small bed, scratching his head now. He knew that a restless night would lie ahead of him, and that was not just due to the size of Monica's bed.

She came out of the small bathroom after another few minutes, her dark hair tied together in a messy bun on top of her head. She was wearing a pair of loosely fitting shorts, a light purple tank top and no bra, as Chandler quickly observed before diverting his gaze and turning a darker shade of red. Monica noticed the embarrassed look on his face instantly as she climbed over him and let herself fall onto her mattress. "What?!" It took all his energy to not look below her collar bone. "Chandler M. Bing, what's that look on your face?" She teased him, poking his side as she was suddenly wide awake again. He flinched from her touch and nearly lost his balance on the small bed, Monica quickly tugging on his shirt to avoid witnessing another clumsy Chandler falling off chairs or beds. She couldn't help but laugh now; no matter what he did, he was just so adorable. "It's nothing," he laughed softly with her, but more out of embarrassment than amusement. "Can we sleep now?" he poked her back and finally laid down next to her on the mattress, the bed seeming even smaller than before. Her giggling was slowly dying down as she got on her side and propped herself up on her elbow, looking at him. "Come on, you know you can tell me." Chandler let out a frustrated groan at her determination. "Not gonna," he put his elbow behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, hoping she would let it go. He'd already had his share of embarrassing Chandler moments in his life and did not need another one. "I'm not gonna let you get away with this, Mr Bing! I always win!" she sat up now, pulling the pillow out from under his head and turning it into a weapon. Chandler instantly covered his face with his arms when Monica started to hit him with the pillow. "That's. not. fair," he managed to choke out in the time that she needed to lift the pillow anew. "What? You're a guy, defend yourself!" Monica smirked as she was panting, the result from a long day and her tiredness. She lifted one leg and straddled him, hoping to get more control that way.

When Chandler felt her weight on top of him he was more thankful for his arms than he had ever been before because he was sure he had now turned an even darker shade of red. "Chandlerrrrrr!" Monica purposefully lengthened his name as she let go of the pillow slowly, frustrated with her failed attempt to get him to confess. "You know, you are really freakishly strong, Mon," he managed to choke out in an attempt to distract himself and, perhaps, her, too. A somewhat triumphant smile appeared on Monica's face and she now tried to pull his arms from his face. He finally let go after a few pulls, knowing now that she would not give up easily. He was met with an exhausted but somewhat satisfied-looking Monica, who was, to his own discomfort, still sitting on top of him. "So?" She pushed her hands into her sides as if she was waiting for him to confess at last. Chandler had completely forgotten about his 'not-below-the-collar bone-rule' and felt another heat rush hit his head. "Uhhh," he just stuttered something incoherent as he was desperately looking for something to fix his gaze upon. But this time it hadn't gone unnoticed by Monica. "What? Is there a stain on my t-?" she pulled on her shirt as she slowly realised the reason for Chandler's embarrassment. Biting her lip, she got off him rather quickly and laid down next to him, not able to avoid any body contact due to the lack of space the bed provided. There was an awkward silence until Chandler cleared his throat. "I don't have to stay the night if it makes you uncomfortable, I can just go..." Monica turned her head as she looked at him through the semi-darkness. "No, don't leave. Please? Just stay." He was surprised by how soft her voice sounded now, so different to the fierce Monica he had seen just a few minutes ago. Chandler nervously looked at her again and nodded. "Okay." He didn't want to leave anyway.

He was just about to apologise when Monica put her index finger against his lips. "Don't. We're good, you don't have to apologise." He felt the familiar heat rise up again, this time caused by her touch as he stared into her crystal blue eyes. They both cracked a tiny smile and she retrieved her hand, her body still facing his. And with that, she closed her eyes, a smile still on her lips as she felt the warmth radiating from his torso, making her bed even more comfortable. "Goodnight, Chandler." He couldn't help but watch her as he mumbled a weak "Goodnight, Mon," in response. And that was the night that he knew. He had fallen for her. Fallen hard.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Wow, I'm a tad overwhelmed by all the reviews that you guys have left on my story! Thanks a lot, especially to those people who are not registered users and who I can't thank by leaving them a message. I will try to reply to the other reviews as well because you are all so sweet, that really helps my motivation to update! Another pointless chapter coming along right now. For the record, the Friends references are not mine. Also, Chandler is about 21 in this story and Monica 19/20, in case anyone was wondering. The rating for the story might change to M soon (or at least at one point) – those who know my works know why. ;-)**

Chandler awoke early the next morning, his body still tired and aching from the rough night in a bed that was clearly too small for two grown ups. The sun was only slowly creeping through the blinds of Monica's room and it took Chandler a few seconds to realise that he was not in his own bed. Still too exhausted to move, he blinked a few times and decided to only open his eyes when he was not facing the window. He still vividly remembered the last time he had opened his eyes to the blinding morning sunlight and thought he had gone blind. So he turned slightly, his back to the window now as he carefully dared to open his eyes. He could only make out a white wall and a stuffed teddy bear next to it, confusion soaring through him. Then he slowly remembered the events of last night. He had spent the evening at Monica's to try out her food and she had offered him to sleep over for his own safety. He internally chuckled at the memory as he closed his eyes again, stopping in his tracks when he felt a movement against his chest. Timid at first, he opened his eyes again just to see the plain wall and the toy again. Just then he realised the peculiar position he was in. And he was not alone.

Just as Chandler had predicted the previous night, the bed was too small for both of them, so in an attempt to make use of the very little space they had left, their bodies seemed to have nearly merged into one as they had been asleep. Monica's face was buried in Chandler's chest as her own body rose up and down, obviously still in dreamland. One of her hands was buried underneath her head, the other one subconsciously fisting his grey college shirt. Her tousled, dark hair tickled Chandler's chin slightly as he carefully peeked down, suddenly rigid from both the physical closeness as well as the fear to wake her up.

_Oh God, man. What the hell did were you thinking? _

A million thoughts were going through his head as he just lay there motionless, contemplating his next move. If he got up now, she would wake up too and there was no way he would get out of here unnoticed. If he moved away from her, he would surely repeat his embarrassing fall from the day they first met. And it was way too early to be experiencing that kind of pain. He reclined slightly and instead focused on her soft breathing and her incredible scent. All of a sudden he was aware of a whole other throbbing pain. He closed his eyes quickly and silently cursed his entire existence. _Why now? Out of all mornings, why today?! _He knew there was no getting out of the situation, she was still pressed against his body and with every second the feeling seemed to instensify. No matter which diversionary tactic he thought about, there was only one thought going through his mind: _In my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush!_

The sunlight forced itself through the blinds with more effort now and the sunbeams finally also found Monica's face. She stirred slightly and cuddled up more against Chandler's chest, taking in a deep breath as she was still too tired to open her eyes. A smile appeared on her lips as she enjoyed the warmth and the masculine scent of her pillow. _Wait. My pillow doesn't smell 'masculine'. _She quickly opened her eyes as she was met with the grey fabric of Chandler's shirt and the huge dark blue letters 'NYU'. _Oh God. This wasn't her pillow she was snuggling with, it was Chandler! _Monica did not move at all now either, hoping Chandler was still asleep as she tried to think of a way to get out of the situation, too. She knew that the bed was too small for two people and perhaps, on some level, she had felt lonely the night before and that was why she had asked Chandler to stay. Or maybe it wasn't because she was lonely, maybe it really was because it was him, Chandler, and she wanted to be with him. This was all way too complicated and overwhelming, especially for a Wednesday morning. She let out a sigh that she didn't know she had been holding and Chandler immediately opened his eyes, a mild panic visible in his features. She was awake.

Monica bit her lip hard, knowing that they were both awake just by the sound of Chandler's heart hammering against his rib cage right next to her ear. She carefully lifted her head and was met by his pair of blue eyes that coyly looked down at her. He prayed to God that she wouldn't notice his early-morning hard-on.

She tried her hardest to show him an encouraging smile, and it seemed to work. He nervously cleared his throat as he smiled back at her. "Bit too small, huh?" He finally managed to choke out, trying to break the tension. She laughed softly, not making any attempt to move from his embrace. "Yeah. But honestly, I'm quite enjoying this new big pillow here," she patted his chest as she was rewarded by another one of his beautiful smiles. Humour really seemed to do the trick and she felt herself relax more. Chandler glanced at his watch on the nightstand, relieved that it was still somewhat early and they at least hadn't overslept for their classes. There was now only one problem. How on earth could he manage to get out of bed without her noticing his little 'situation'?

"What time is it?" She asked softly, still not making any attempt to move. Chandler tried his hardest to ignore the fact that her perfect and warm body was still pressed against his. "Almost 7am," he said lazily, "so we'll still be in time for our 8am classes if we get up now." He hoped that she would take the hint and get up to get ready, but he was disappointed when she closed her eyes again and just mumbled something incoherent. "Hello, what have you done to my Monica? 8am, cooking class, getting ready?" He quipped and she opened her eyes again, her lips still curled into a smile. For a short while she didn't say anything. "Maybe I'll skip my 8am class today? This is just much nicer. And I still get to practise because if I remember correctly, someone ordered breakfast for this morning," Monica looked into his eyes and even though he detected the teasing tone in her voice, something was different. If he didn't break this eye contact he knew it would burn him up from inside. "That's right, I did order breakfast," he admitted, for a second very taken by the offer. But he quickly remembered that he also had an 8am class and he still hadn't solved his guy problem yet. He groaned in frustration and Monica smirked slightly. "What?"

"I got Creative Writing in about an hour and I'm still in bed with you, woman," he said, struggling between the temptation of a delicious breakfast with the girl of his dreams and his duty to be a good student. "So?" Monica still hadn't moved an inch as she stretched slightly and extracted her hand to touch his nose. "You can skip it for me, can't you?" Chandler grew rigid again as he just stared at her, suddenly even more aware of their intimate situation. _What the hell was she doing?! _He was sure he had lost all the will power he had ever possessed as he saw himself slowly melt at her words. "Y-yeah, I can do that," he whispered, suddenly even unable to drag his gaze away from her deep blue eyes. She rewarded him with a smile and finally, to his relief, pulled away from him, pushing the covers aside in order to get up. "Alright, I'll prepare breakfast and you can go take a shower if you want to. There are some spare towels in the bathroom," she said while she made her way over to the kitchen unit and Chandler couldn't help but check her out. "If you don't mind that they're pink, that is." She shot him an amused look and he nearly got caught while drooling over her. "Uh no, that is fine. I'm very aware of my feminine side, thanks."

"I knew it," Monica retorted as she got the ingredients to prepare pancakes out of the fridge. Chandler quickly used the opportunity to get up, pulling on his shirt to hide his fairly obvious bulge. But just as he thought he had safely reached the bathroom, Monica turned over. "Chandler?" He was now facing the door frame as he closed his eyes for a second, cursing his own existence before quietly replying, "Yeah?"

"Do you want me to make you some bacon and scrambled eggs too?" Without knowing it, he let out a small breath of relief as he nodded, opening the door to the bathroom. "That would be grand, Mon." She smiled to herself and got back to work. She wasn't entirely sure about her feelings for Chandler, but she knew that she had never felt this way about any guy before. And she was well-aware of the effect she had on him, too. She had felt his erection against her thigh this morning, but she knew better than to embarrass him another time. It was enough for her to know that their attraction for each other was mutual.

When she was nearly done with their breakfast, the door of the bathroom opened and a visibly relaxed Chandler exited, now wearing his clothes from the previous day again. "I hope you don't mind that I used one of the fancy towels," he smirked, his still wet hair making him even sexier. Monica bit her lip as she couldn't help but stare at him for a while. "What?" He had noticed her look, somewhat surprised that it mirrored the expression he had for her during his weak moments. "Fancy towels? At least that's what the label told me," he lifted up the still wet pink towel and quickly ran it through his hair to dry it superficially. "Oh, yeah," Monica nodded as she kept watching him, "they are one out of my eleven towel categories." Chandler looked at her unbelievably. "You have sorted your towels into _eleven _categories?!" Monica blushed visibly as she sat down on the table, shrugging. "Yeah. Now come on, otherwise the food will be cold." He neatly folded the towel and put it on top the radiator to dry, an amused grin still visible as he joined her at the breakfast table.

A week later, Monica had received the results of her first cooking class assignments and just like Chandler had predicted, she had passed with flying colours. As a thank you to him, she had invited him over for dinner again, followed by watching a film of his choice and a couple of beers for celebration. She placed the coasters on the small table and arranged some snacks for later. Even though they were still just friends, Monica had thought about their situation a lot during the past week. After that night together there had been a shift in her feelings for Chandler, and she could surely say that some thoughts she had about him included crossing that line of friendship they had worked on so hard for the past month. She looked at herself in the mirror, straightening her red dress as she played with the ring on her finger. She had had her small share of boyfriends, two to be exact, and she already had some experience when it came to sex, and yet Monica still couldn't help but blush at some thoughts she had about Chandler. Maybe it was because she was more mature now and had gained more confidence after having lost all that weight in the past year.

She was interrupted by a knock on the door and was met by an overly excited Chandler on the other side. "Congrats, Mon! I'm so proud of you!" He quickly hugged her before handing her a box of chocolates. "I know they're not nearly as great as your skills as a future chef, but I thought you might enjoy them anyway," he commented and his eyes lit up when he saw the meal she had prepared for them. "Thank you, I'm sure they're just fine," she smiled as she closed the door and they both sat down and celebrated Monica's first success of her college career, which she knew she mainly had to thank Chandler for. Not because he had been such a helpful taste tester, but because he had supported and encouraged Monica right from the start. He had given her everything she had needed from her parents, but had never got.

Two hours later, they were both cuddled up together on her bed again as _Miss Congeniality _had just finished. Just as Chandler hadn't made any fun of Monica's eleven towel categories, she hadn't poked fun at the fact that he was into chick-flicks. "I still think it's a great movie," Chandler noted as he took another sip of his beer, "just don't tell Ross I said that, okay?" Monica smirked as she grabbed the remote control to switch off the tv. "I won't, I promise." "Good," he just remarked and smirked as they both settled into a comfortable silence. "Hey, you know what would be fun?" Monica sat up again as she faced Chandler. "'Fun fun' or '_Monica fun_'?" He raised his eyebrow, but was quickly met by a slap of his arm. "Ow!"

"We should play a game of truth or dare, I haven't done that in ages!" She was suddenly overly excited, which amused and scared Chandler at the same time. "Yeah, maybe because it's not 1984 anymore," he quipped. But Monica ignored him and took another sip of her beer. "Just to be fair, because I cooked for you tonight and we watched your movie, I think I should be the first one to ask a question." He could determine the competitiveness that coated her voice as he finally sat up as well, an amused grin on his face. "Alright, you go first." Monica felt a rush of excitement go through her body at both the prospect of winning and the fact that she would be able to find out more about Chandler this way. "Kay. Truth or dare?" He looked over into her eyes, the alcohol and the effect she had on him suddenly making him more adventurous. "Truth."

Monica rubbed her hands in anticipation and leaned in closer. She had already thought of a million questions. Since Chandler was more or less like a closed book regarding his childhood, she knew that this was her chance to dig deeper.

"Alright..." Monica looked over at him as she paused so he didn't find her too eager.

"Tell me your worst childhood memory."

He gulped slightly at the seriousness of the question and decided to take another sip of his beer. If it wasn't for the alcohol that helped loosen his tongue and the fact that he was around Monica, who was the one person he knew he could tell everything, he probably would have backed down. Licking his dry lips, he met her gaze.

"Alright. So I'm nine years old, it's Thanksgiving 1978, the entire table is loaded with food. You have to know, my parents are sort of rich and travel a lot, so the fact that they were both there that day was really special for me."

Monica listened intently as her best friend finally opened up about his chilhood. She wondered if it was as sad as her own.

"But a few minutes later I should know the reason for this extraordinary event. It wasn't because they had finally decided to spend an important holiday with their only son again. No." As if to emphasise the ridiculousness of his assumption, he shook his head before taking another sip of his drink. "I had just stuffed my mouth with an entire load of pumpkin pie when they decide to tell me that they're getting a divorce." He finished, now looking down as he fumbled with the label on his beer bottle and Monica knew that it had been very hard for him to share this memory with someone.

She felt herself slightly sober up at the now somber mood, quickly gulping down some more beer herself. Wasn't this game originally a lot of fun? Not when two messed up adolescents played it, she then silently concluded.

"I'm sorry about that, Chandler." She looked over at him, trying to get his attention.

"Ah, it's okay. That was twelve years ago, so I'm kind of over it," he dismissed the topic with a wave of his hand, both of them knowing that he was lying. Monica knew these feelings never entirely went away, they always left scars.

"Alright," she sat up straighter and clapped her hands as if to change the mood. "That was some really deep stuff, so I think you've earned your turn now." He finally smirked over at her as he perked up, too.

"Yay! Okay... truth or dare, future chef Geller?"

She couldn't help but smile at the term as she thought about it for a second, not wanting this game to turn into some sob fest where they were both just pitying each other to no ends.

"Dare."

"Uh, someone's feisty tonight," Chandler remarked as he finished his bottle, purposefully slowly placing it on top of the coaster again that prevented water rings on her table. Feeling the alcohol lower his inhibitions again, he just went with the only thing that was on his mind at the very second. Having been remembered of all the heartbreak and loneliness of his childhood, he was suddenly feeling incredibly pathetic as he looked over into Monica's beautiful blue eyes.

"Kiss me."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Wow, I can't believe how many reviews I got! You guys, that's seriously so incredibly sweet of you and I want to thank each single one of you, especially those ones who took some time to write a longer paragraph. I'm sorry it took me so long to update, especially with that cliffhanger (should I feel even more sorry now?), but here's chapter five for you. It's a bit shorter and I'm not really satisfied with it, but I couldn't leave you hanging any longer. Just FYI, I don't know how often I will manage to update in the next few weeks, just to let you know that I will not forget this story, but I'll be somewhat occupied so please bear with me.**

"Kiss me".

Monica felt her head spin and her heart leap into her throat as she looked into his blue eyes that were so full of sadness and hurt. As much as she wanted to do just that, she knew that it wasn't right that way.

"Chandler," she said softly, taking his hand into hers, knowing there was no way to avoid the pain of rejection.

He looked at her, a mix of disappointment and embarrassment already visible on his face. He still didn't have the strength to pull his hand away.

"I care about you so much, I really do." Monica's voice was soothing and steady despite the amount of alcohol she had consumed earlier. "I just don't think that depression and liquor are a good combination for a first kiss."

Chandler just looked into her eyes absent-mindedly, then he fixed his gaze on the nearly empty beer bottle he was still holding in his lap. "I understand," he nodded more to himself than to Monica and his letdown was clearly audible and visible. Monica bit her lip, praying that this evening hadn't ruined their special friendship and that she had made the right decision. She knew that she wanted to kiss him too at that moment, but she also didn't want to rush into things. She had made that mistake quite a few times in the past.

"Want to watch another movie?" She carefully asked, watching him intently as he played with the label of his now empty bottle. "Uh, probably not," he gave her a small smile while glancing at the clock. "It's already late and I have to hand in my assignment on Monday. So guess what kind of fun I'll be having tomorrow," he finally laughed slightly and Monica joined him. "Yeah, I understand."

They both got up and Monica followed him to the door as he grabbed his jacket from the hook. When they had reached the door, he looked into her eyes and faked a smile, hoping his disappointment wasn't too obvious. After all, he was used to it by now. "Congrats again, Mon," he leaned in and kissed the side of her face. "I'm really proud of you." She returned his smile with a genuine one, now feeling even worse that she had ruined their night. "Thanks, Chandler. And if you need any help with that assignment... I'm here all day tomorrow, just let me know, okay?" He nodded and casually threw his jacket over his shoulder, opening the door and looking back at her one more time before making his way down to the corridor and into the crisp summer night. "Goodnight, Mon."

"Goodnight, Chandler," she returned.

[-]

Chandler woke up in his own bed the next morning, his head pounding and his back aching. He groaned in frustration when he remembered all the details from last night. All he wanted to do was to bury his head into his pillow and forget that day had ever happened, but unfortunately, he could only do the first. At least Ross was out all day with Carol so he didn't need to worry about his roommate lecturing about fossils and dinosaurs the entire Sunday.

Chandler finally managed to get up, some sandy strands of his hair sticking up as he stumbled over to the fridge. Opening it, he let out a sigh, knowing why he had spent most days at Monica's place in the past few weeks. It was entirely empty except for some beers and ketchup. He closed the fridge again and got out his sheets of paper instead, looking at them blankly. He had a little more than 24 hours until his assignment was due and he had written nothing yet. Closing his eyes and running his hands through his hair, he let out a frustrated groan before banging his head against the desk. Could his life possibly _get_ any worse?

Then he remembered Monica's words from last night.

_If you need any help with that assignment... I'm here all day tomorrow, just let me know, okay?_

He contemplated the offer for a second, but then quickly dismissed it again. He couldn't possibly write a creative short story with her being in his room, it would just mean too many distractions.

_Unless._ Chandler grinned slightly, taking the pen in his hand and started to write.

Perhaps Monica could really help him finish his assignment.

[-]

Monica had spent the entire Sunday morning cleaning her dorm room, including the bathroom and her kitchen unit. She was always cleaning when she was anxious or needed a distraction. And today was one of these days. She knew she had made the right decision by turning Chandler down, but why was she feeling like crap then? She cared about him too much, she just couldn't lose him. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and noticed that his watch was still there. It was like the universe didn't want her to forget about him. She slowly made her way over to the nightstand and picked it up, wondering if it was reason enough to visit him.

Just ten minutes later she was standing in front of Ross and Chandler's dorm room, his watch in her right hand as she stared at the wooden door, fighting for air. She still wasn't sure about this entire thing, especially since she would be the reason Chandler might fail his assignment. Closing her eyes in one last attempt for sanity, she knocked on the door.

"Hey, Mon. What are you doing here?"

She was met by a set of familiar brown eyes that belonged to her brother.

"Oh hey, Ross." It took her a few seconds to sort through her thoughts because she had expected Chandler on the other side of the door, but as far as she could see, his bed and desk were empty.

"Uh, Chandler forgot his watch at my place last night and I came over here to give it back to him," Monica told her brother automatically, somewhat glad that she didn't have to think of an excuse why she had actually come over.

"I see. He went out about two hours ago, not quite sure where. Said he wanted to 'clear his head', or whatever." Her older brother rolled his eyes slightly as he took the watch from Monica, placing it on top of Chandler's books. "I'll let him know you dropped it off. I'm off to meet Carol now anyway."

Monica made a face to herself at the mention of Ross' girlfriend. She really did like Carol, but it annoyed her that Ross seemed to have no other topic to talk about than the amazingness of his girlfriend. She got even more depressed that she didn't have someone who gushed about her in that same way. Before she knew it, Ross was already out of the door and she was standing in their door room on her own, not quite sure what to do now. It was probably for the best that Chandler was out anyway. She waited in their room for another few minutes before finally taking off again.

[-]

Two weeks later, Chandler was staring at the circled, red grade on his assignment. 100%. He was still in disbelief when the teacher congratulated him by patting his back.

"Well done, Mr Bing. You sure seem to have inherited your mother's talent for writing," he smiled at him while making his way to the front of the class again. The bell dismissed them all, Chandler's gaze still upon the sheet of paper in front of him. This was the best grade in the course of his university career, and he knew exactly who he had to thank for it. Even though she didn't know it, Monica had been the reason for this success. He quickly grabbed his paper and threw his bag over his shoulders, nearly flying out of the building. He quickly checked his watch, making sure that Monica was done with classes for the day too. His smile grew wider in anticipation of seeing her again and if it hadn't been for some students leaving Monica's dorm building and holding the door open for him, he was sure he would have produced a Chandler-shaped-hole right there.

They had seen each other from time to time during the past two weeks, but it was nothing compared to the time before - what Chandler liked to call - 'the incident'. Even though he loved being around her, he was always somewhat tense, doubt and embarrassment still nagging at the back of his mind. He had always known that she was out of his league and the more he thought about it, the more he wished that he hadn't given it a shot two weeks ago. He was blaming the alcohol. It was always a bad idea to drink, especially when surrounded by cute girls. Chandler slowed down when he reached the corridor where Monica's room was, still deep in thought. Yet somehow, he knew that she was way more special than all the other cute girls he had met before. And if it meant that he had to swallow his true feelings for the rest of his life, he would do it in a heartbeat, just so he could spend time with her.

He was standing in front of Monica's room, a foolish grin on his face, the papers still clutched in his hand as he tried for his heartbeat to calm down. All of a sudden, the door opened and he was met with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes in his life. He was sure his heart missed a few beats as Monica nearly crashed into him.

"Jeez, Chandler!" She panted, just about stopping herself from dragging them both down to the (rather dirty) floor of the hallway. When she had calmed down, she smiled up at him. "Did you practise some of your knock-knock jokes out here?"

He smirked, a fresh wave of affection for her hitting him hard.

"You got me." Pausing, he took a few seconds to take in her beauty that he had missed so much during the last few days. "Can I come in?"

"Sure! If you don't mind that I haven't cleaned since Sunday, that is."

"Oh boy. Then I better wait out here." He pretended to be disgusted, but she could see right through him.

They both exchanged a smile and he made his way inside, scanning the room quickly before turning over, way too excited to be hiding it. "Guess what!" He held up the sheets of paper triumphantly, waving them, a huge grin on his lips.

"You discovered the true purpose of paper?" Monica closed the door behind herself as she looked at him in anticipation.

He was too wired up to even reply with a joke as he just shook his head.

"It's my assignment. The essay I had to hand in about two weeks ago, remember?" He looked at her expectantly, half of his mind praying that it wouldn't be awkward between them when he referred to the time that had happened prior to his deadline.

"Oh, right!" Monica was perking up now, too, as she crossed the room. "By the warm colour of your cheeks I can tell that you passed with flying colours, Bing." Her smile got brighter as he shoved the papers into her direction. She quickly accepted them, her eyes growing wide upon seeing the grade.

"Oh my gosh, Chandler! That is amazing! I'm so proud of you!" She closed the last gap between them and embraced him in a hug. If Monica's table hadn't been behind Chandler's back he was certain he would have fallen down by the sheer force with which she had pushed herself into his arms.

"Thanks!" He was practically giddy with excitement by now, her presence adding to the cloud-nine-feeling.

"And Mon," he tried to take a few more breaths as he looked at her seriously. Her smile disappeared and she looked up into his eyes, somewhat uncomfortable as to what was coming.

"Seriously, thank _you. _I couldn't have done this without you. And you may not know, but you have helped me in so many ways that you can't even imagine."

Monica's right hand found her heart, a sign that she was deeply touched by his words.

"This story... it's about you and me," Chandler added, his voice somewhat quiet now. "I'm sure you remember that weekend." He didn't even need to look at her, he knew that she did. "I only had about one day to finish those million pages, and you were all I could think about." She didn't move at all, but her gaze was still fixed upon his blue eyes and she was listening intently. "In fact, ever since the day I met you you're all I can think about." Chandler was surprised that he wasn't feeling nervous at all during this confession, it just felt natural. She needed to know this, no matter what would happen next. "And without you knowing about it, you have helped me. I just tried to put everything I felt for you and experienced with you over the course of the past few weeks into my writing. And, well, it seems to have at least convinced my professor." A confident, sly smirk finally tugged on his lips as he pulled Monica closer to his body. He would give it another try. One last try.

Monica looked up into his eyes, tears pooling in hers. She finally knew just how serious Chandler was about her. He wasn't just some dumb and foolish high school kid; he was a young adult who loved her for who she was. And Monica knew that she was feeling the exact same way about him. She desperately needed that handsome, insecure, incredibly charming joker in her life. And she would give him everything he needed. She would give him all her heart and more.

Suddenly, she didn't know how, his hands were cupping her face. His voice was quiet, but filled with more confidence than she possessed at this very moment.

"Are friendship and being absolutely crazy for you a good combination for a first kiss?" He asked.

She felt his warm breath against her skin, knowing she had been waiting for this moment just as long as he had.

Monica shook her head and noticed a mild panic in his eyes again.

"It's not just a good combination, it's a perfect combination."

He finally smiled, smiled as big and genuine as he hadn't smiled in the past 21 years of his life. Then he leaned down and captured her lips with his. The second their lips touched, they both knew that they would never ever forget this kiss. It started out as a soft kiss and by the end they were both panting for breath. It took all of his will power to pull away from her again. Her blue eyes met his in an instant and they both smiled, knowing that this was the beginning of something wonderful.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I know I keep repeating myself, but you all never fail to make me smile! The amount of reviews keeps me very motivated to continue this story as quickly as possible. I have come up with quite a few interesting twists (and obstacles) for young Mondler, but for now let's just focus on some pointless chapters establishing their relationship. I hope you'll enjoy this part just as much as you did enjoy the previous chapters!**

A few hours after their first kiss, Monica was cuddled up next to Chandler on his bed, both of them enjoying their new-found closeness. Ross was still out with Carol so they had decided to just stay in their room, Chandler's right hand softly caressing Monica's freckled arm.

"I can't believe I can just do this," he mused as he watched her reaction carefully, as if he was afraid that he could hurt her or touch her in a way that she would find repulsive. Monica turned her head slightly so she was facing him, a smirk visible on her lips. "You know, that's actually not so different from what you were doing to me a few weeks ago." Chandler chuckled slightly and leaned in to plant another kiss on her lips, just because he could. She adjusted her body and kissed him back, still fascinated by how amazingly right it felt to be with him. Her last two boyfriends were nothing compared to the connection she had with Chandler. Even though they didn't even need any words to communicate with each other, she was determined to find out more about his childhood. "Chandler," she started after a few minutes of silence, her back still pressed against his chest. "Hmm?" He hummed as he was still focused on her small body and every inch of her exposed skin.

"I was just wondering if I'm your first girlfriend?" She finally dared to ask, feeling him tense up against her own body. There was a short silence before he replied with a whisper. "I was dating this one girl for a few months about two years ago. But it didn't work out." Monica slowly turned in his arms and looked into his blue eyes. She knew it was probably too early to delve into that kind of topic, but she felt like clearing things up before they were in too deep. "Did you love her?"

Chandler finally looked into her eyes. A few weeks ago, he had always thought of love as something he wasn't sure even existed. His parents didn't love each other and they never managed to teach Chandler about the complex mess of feelings either. Of course, being surrounded by a friend who was head over heels and madly in love with his girlfriend and couldn't stop talking about anything else only added to his abhorrence for the 'l word'. But that was before the guy's amazing sister had come into his life. He was still afraid of love, though. He knew that things hadn't worked out between his parents and he was doubtful it would ever work out for him. His commitment issues and the fear that he would wreck everything and end up alone again were just too big. He was far from ready to let Monica know what he truly felt for her; the overpowering need to protect and love her until the rest of his life scared the hell out of him, too.

"No," he finally replied, sincerity apparent in his voice. He had not loved that girl. But deep down, he knew that he loved _this _girl.

Monica seemed satisfied as she just nodded understandingly, pressing her lips against his again and once more, he felt like he was drowning. Chandler pulled away slightly afterwards, aware of the fact that she deserved to know more about him. "So what about you, Ms Geller? Any past boyfriends that I need to be aware of? You know, in case they plan on stealing you from me?" Monica laughed softly, knowing that he was joking, but deep inside she was aware that he could not hide his fear of losing her. "There were two. I went to prom with this guy called Chip when I was still a bit 'heavier'," she lifted up her hands and added air quotes. "And last year I kind of had a thing with a guy from high school. But it turned out he was only interested in me because I had lost all that weight. And that's not really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you know." Chandler watched her intently as she avoided his gaze now and was instead playing with the hem of his shirt. The fact that she was already talking about things that, to him, were still far into the future surprised him. "I didn't even know you used to be heavier," he said carefully. She finally met his eyes again as she shrugged it off. "I already told you that my childhood wasn't that easy, so that was kind of the result of it. I guess I tried to fill the empty void inside of me with food." There was a moment of silence before Monica spoke up again. "Well, now you know the reason behind wanting to be a chef." He laughed with her, thankful for her ability to lighten up the mood.

"While we're at it - what do you feel like doing tonight? We could order some pizza and just hang out. Maybe I get a celebration for passing my assignment, too?" Chandler smirked. Even the tiniest possibility to hang out with her made his day so much better. Monica glanced at his watch and sat up slightly. "Like you didn't already get a reward for that," she smiled while straddling his body playfully. He looked up into her eyes as he carefully put his big hands on each side of her waist when, suddenly, the door opened and he quickly threw Monica on the bed next to him.

A confused Ross stood in the door frame, eyeing Monica and Chandler suspiciously. "What's going on with you two?"

Chandler cleared his throat, desperately trying to think of an explanation for why he and Monica had been so closely cuddled up on his bed. He could already feel the heat rise up to unknown levels. But before he could reply, Monica pushed herself past Chandler and sat down next to him on the bed again. "We were just wondering what to do tonight. Chandler got an amazing grade for his assignment so we thought about ordering pizza for celebration." Chandler was stunned at Monica's casual reply, but it all made sense. They had been insanely close right from the start so it would be best to just go along with that. "Yeah, you want to join us or do you have plans with Carol?" Chandler now added, Monica's calmness rubbing off on him. Ross looked at them strangely for another few seconds, but then dismissed the topic. "No, I got chess at 6, remember? So I'm just here to pick up my stuff and then I'll head to the student union."

They both watched as Ross grabbed his stuff, oblivious to the amused looks Monica and Chandler were exchanging behind his back. "Oh, right. Well, good luck, man." Chandler remarked, glad that Ross would soon be gone and he would be able to spend his night with Monica. The fact that he had to tell Ross about his intentions with Monica at one point already scared the hell out of him. He was certain he'd avoid that discussion for as long as he possibly could.

"Phew, that was close. Good thinking," Chandler breathed out after Ross was gone. Monica suddenly laughed out loud, holding her stomach as she fought for air. "Oh God, you should have seen your face, Chandler! You were as red as a cherry!" Chandler gasped and pretended to be hurt but Monica's laughter was infectious. "Alright, alright, I admit it. I'm a horrible secret keeper." She smiled at him with affection, cupping his face with her hands. "Don't worry about Ross. Yeah, he can be a pain in the ass and he's quite protective of me." She was interrupted by Chandler's snort. "But," she continued as if she hadn't heard him, "we'll just keep it secret as long as possible and then we'll tell him together. He loves you like a brother, he'll come around." Chandler still looked at her skeptically. "You know he practises karate, right?" Monica raised her eyebrow at the remark, both of them aware of the harmlessness of Ross's hobby. "Alright," Chandler finally nodded in agreement. "But if I get seriously hurt..." Monica rolled her eyes as she got off him, grabbing her jacket.

"What, you're leaving?! Come on, that was just a joke." Chandler stood up, too.

"No, you dork. I'm all for ordering pizza, spending time with you and celebrating, but I think we could go some place else." Monica put her jacket on and handed Chandler his.

"Oh..." He suddenly felt very excited as he grabbed his key. "Where are we going?!" He did a little jump and Monica burst out laughing. "I have an idea. But..."

"But what?" He looked at her quizzically.

"Didn't you say that you have a car?" Monica looked into his eyes, excitement and thirst for adventure visible. If Chandler hadn't known that it was part of Monica's nature to get wired up over little things rather quickly he would have been afraid to get in a car with her at dawn. He slowly contemplated her suggestion.

"Yeah, I got one from my mom for my birthday." He made a grimace when he thought of the tacky and impersonal gift he had received last year. All he had wanted was to spend the day with his mother who he hadn't seen in months, but obviously an important book signing had prevented her to visit her only son.

Monica was completely caught up on her idea of an adventurous evening with Chandler as she clapped her hands in delight. "Oh yay, can we take it out for a spin? It's part of the whole 'getting to the place' idea."

Chandler quickly forgot about the bad memory that was associated with the car. Thanks to Monica he would be able to make new memories. Memories that would make him smile for a change. "Sure we can."

He opened the bottom drawer of his desk and retrieved the keys to his still hardly used Porsche Carrera. Then he took her hand into his and gave her another kiss. "Let's take it out for a spin."

An hour later, Chandler had picked up a big pizza for both of them as well as two cokes. Monica had revealed her favourite spot to him and they were now sitting on a stretch of white sand somewhere around Long Beach, the sun slowly disappearing on the horizon. They had packed a blanket and two pillows as well, even though it was a warm summer evening.

"I always used to come here when I needed to escape from home. I would take the bus or dad's car from when I was 16 on." Monica smirked as she was leaning against Chandler and they were both watching the pink sunset over the ocean.

Chandler was still in awe at the sight. He had never seen a sunset that beautiful. And the fact that he got to experience this with Monica made it even more amazing. "I can see why," he said softly, as if he was afraid to disturb the peaceful nature around them. "I think this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

Monica looked over at him and noticed the look on his face. She had never seen him this happy. Satisfied in every single way, she put her head on his shoulder and pulled the blanket over their bodies. "Thanks for bringing me here." Chandler softly kissed the top of Monica's hair, still unsure whether he'd rather watch the sky change its colours or Monica. He was sure he had never been surrounded by so much breathtaking beauty.

"Thanks for using your car to bring us here," Monica smirked as she had another slice of their pizza, sighing contently. How her life had changed from utter disappointment to absolute perfection within just two months she had no idea. All she knew was that she had to thank Chandler for it.

They stayed silent for another couple of minutes until the sun had disappeared and the last rays were lighting up the sky in the most wonderful shades of red.

"Chandler?" Monica carefully asked.

"Yes?" He turned his head slightly to look at her and she had the chance to see his beautiful smile again.

"I'll never forget today."

She said it with so much sincerity that it made his heart swell.

"Neither will I, Mon." He replied with the same amount of confidence and leaned down to kiss her lips, both of them smiling into the kiss.

It was the day they had both learned that there was still hope for a life with love. And even though they'd had to wait two decades for it - it had been worth the wait.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Can I just hug every single one of you? Again, thank you for all the lovely and encouraging reviews even when I'm not as satisfied with my work as I sometimes wish to be. You all help me to produce more chapters for this fic. Just to let you know that I have planned to change the rating to 'M' when posting chapter eight, that is also part of the reason why this chapter is not that long. So I guess there's a little something to look forward to for those of you who like the Mondler lovin' ;-)**

Two weeks later, Monica was studying for her next test. As the term progressed, she and Chandler were both a lot busier than they had imagined. The only positive outcome of not seeing him each day was that Ross still had no clue that they were dating. And Monica wanted to keep it that way. Even though she'd had some great dates with Chandler, she knew that deep down, he was very insecure and perhaps even scared to break the news to Ross. Sighing, she took a deep breath and decided to call it a day. It was nearly 7pm and she expected Chandler within the next 15 minutes. After having found out about his secret talent and passion for creative writing, she had urged him to take part in a study group that also staged the complete works later on. She'd found that it improved his skills and he seemed to be in much better spirits each week. But she also liked to think that, perhaps, it had also something to do with her.

Monica slipped into her summer dress and quickly zipped it up when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it with a flourish and was met with her boyfriend's exhausted and hyped-up expression. "Hey!" Chandler quickly closed the gap between them and kissed Monica on the lips, the feeling quickly intensifying and making it hard to drag himself away from her again. A breathless sigh escaped his lips as he smiled at her. "Hey, you. How was your day, future playwright?" She chuckled and followed him as they both sat down on her bed.

"It was awesome," Chandler could barely hide his excitement, incredibly thankful for his girlfriend's idea to join a study group. "We're still presenting drafts so far and remember the short story I wrote last weekend?" He didn't even wait for her to answer. "They absolutely loved it! There's still two other drafts that we'll look into next week before making the final decision, but chances are pretty high that it'll be my story they'll choose." He grinned from ear to ear and Monica felt incredibly proud, too. She was the reason for Chandler's happiness.

"That's so great, sweetie! I'm sorry I haven't had time to read through it yet, but you know how insanely busy my own stuff is keeping me at the moment..." She let out a sigh and Chandler's smile faded a little. "I know. Hey, that's okay, you'll just read it when you find time. And if you want to, of course." She smirked a little and nodded. "Duh, obviously I want to read it, you dork." Chandler just smiled back at her, knowing that even though his day had been hectic and rewarding, this was his favourite part of the day. Coming home to Monica's smile in the evening was something he never ever wanted to miss again. In fact, he wanted to experience this on every single day for the rest of his life.

"Thanks for making me do this, Mon." He took his hand in hers and gave her another quick peck before rubbing his stomach. "You know, I'm kind of hungry. You got something for this starving guy?" Monica grinned and patted his leg. "I sure do, tiger." Chandler watched as she got up and rummaged through her fridge that was, to Chandler's bafflement, filled to the brim with groceries. If they ever had kids he was sure the one thing they didn't have to worry about was starvation. He suddenly tensed when aware of his train of thought. Did he really just think about having _kids_? With _Monica_?

Meanwhile, Monica was staring at him, holding a box of eggs in one hand. Chandler had an obvious look of panic plastered on his face as she repeated his name for the third time. "Chandler?" He finally snapped out of it and quickly looked at Monica, the future mother of his children, according to his brain. Apparently. "Huh?!" She suppressed a laugh and got a pan out of one of the cabinets. "I was just asking you if Mac and Cheese is okay?" She paused and shot him another glance. "And if I should add cut-up hot dogs again?" Chandler quickly jumped up, still nervous and with a sudden urge to get rid of all the bottled-up energy. "Yeah, that'd be awesome. Uh, I'd love to help you but I just remembered that I forgot something in my dorm. I'll be back in 10, 'kay?" She looked at him oddly and nodded, Chandler quickly pressing a kiss on her lips before he stormed out of her room. Monica shook her head and started to cook instead. Little did she know what was going on inside her boyfriend's head. And little did she know that they had been musing about the same future.

[-]

Panting for breath, Chandler was leaning against the back wall of Monica's dorm building, now fully aware that he shouldn't have started smoking at the age of 9. His heart was hammering against his rib cage and he was fighting for air. _Damn those doctors for always being right! _

It took him another few seconds to calm down and even though his brain told him not to, he fumbled for the pack of cigarettes in the back pocket of his jeans. _To hell with doctors, this is my only cure now._ Closing his eyes, he slowly inhaled the deathly fumes, his heart rate approaching normal again. Quickly, his mind went back to the original reason as to why he was here. _Monica. Future. Kids. Family. Future. Can open. Worms everywhere. _When his pulse quickened again, he took another drag. This was all going way too fast. He was falling so quickly, completely overwhelmed by his desire for her. And the thing that made this so bad were his own commitment issues. He was way too scared to screw things up, especially now that everything just felt so right in his life. He couldn't bear to lose her, so his brain was telling him to get out. Get out of it while you still can and before it's too late. And Chandler knew that he _would _screw things up.

Before he knew it, the only thing left of his cigarette was a pitiful-looking butt and he felt as helpless as before again. Throwing it on the ground, he ground it under his heel and thought of Monica again. He knew she'd kill him if she knew what he was doing out here; she hated when he smoked. Chandler perked up slightly when a young couple walked past him on their way to the dorm, both of them laughing in each other's arms. If only it was that easy for him and Monica. But when he thought about all those great moments they had shared together in the past few weeks, he realised something: he had to talk to Monica. He just couldn't let his brain ruin what his heart truly wanted.

[-]

Monica was just putting the final touches to Chandler's favourite food, smiling to herself. She had always had a passion for cooking, but it made her even happier when she could cook for him. When the door opened and a jaded-looking Chandler came in, she was slightly worried. "Did you get 'the thing'?" She made air quotes, aware that he hadn't really forgotten anything upon seeing his empty hands. "Uh, no." He shook his head and closed the door nervously, ignoring the delicious food altogether as he took her hand in his and lead her over to the bed instead. "Turns out that thing I needed was in here the whole time," he smiled away the anxious in the pit of his stomach as he sat down with her. She looked somewhat confused, his panic from before now rubbing off on her. "What's going on?"

He took another deep breath, fully aware of the importance this conversation had for their relationship. "Mon, I know I've sort of been trying to hide my childhood and all that crap that I've been feeling from you in the past few weeks. And I also know that you deserve to know all of that. But the reason I didn't tell you was because I didn't want to hurt you."

She was listening intently, wondering why on earth he had chosen this particular moment to tell her about it when it had taken her weeks and she still hadn't been successful. He ran his hand through his hair carelessly, not aware of the effect this gesture had on her. "You know how I told you that my parents got divorced when I was nine," he continued as she nodded in agreement. It was the only reason that Chandler knew she was still listening, for she wasn't moving at all. "To sum up, my entire childhood was a disaster. I started smoking when I was nine, my parents were never there for me and that screwed me up so bad that I keep ruining every single possible relationship I've ever been in. Hell, I once even broke up with my camp girlfriend because she was too fat!" He didn't even dare to look into Monica's eyes. "Anyway," he was now nearly whispering, "I've never really opened up to anyone about all this, but my crappy childhood is the reason for this whole mess in my head. Mon, it's just that you mean so much to me, more than anyone I've ever met, and I'm so scared to ruin what we have because of my commitment issues."

Monica knew that he was done when he timidly looked at her, guilt and shame visible in his eyes. She thought about what he had just confessed to her and she knew that _this _had never been on her mind. The fact that Chandler cared about her so much that he was afraid he could be a failure had not once crossed her mind. She took a deep breath, nothing but affection for the man that was sitting across from her. "Chandler," she now took his hands into hers as she looked into his blue eyes. "You have nothing to worry about. Look, I'm so glad you finally decided to open up so I know what's going on in there," her right hand left his and touched his chest, "but I never expected you to worry this much about us. We're still young, we all make mistakes and have our own insecurities, but that's why we're so great together. We have each other and I assumed we can talk about what worries us. I enjoy every single second with you so much and yes, I do think about a possible future, sometimes," she quietly admitted, hoping not to scare him, "but why don't we just concentrate on where we are now? It doesn't have to be so complicated." She paused again, wondering for a moment whether she had the courage to continue. "You mean so much to me, Chandler, and I want you to know that I love you. I love you with every ounce of my being. And I'm scared too, but I know that if we work on this and are honest with each other, this could really be something great." She finished and couldn't hide her smile any more. He let out a breath of relief that he didn't know he had been holding as he still looked into her beautiful eyes. It was as if her speech had given him all the encouragement that had been missing from his life. "I love you too, Monica. I just don't want to lose you, ever."

She let out a soft laugh and felt tears sting in her eyes. "You're not going to lose me, Chandler Bing. Not if you don't want to." She pulled him in for a long hug as she buried her face in the fabric of his shirt. Chandler kissed the side of her face and held her close, prepared to do anything for the woman in his arms so she would always remain just where she was now. "I don't want to," he pulled away after a while and showered her face in small kisses, making her laugh. "Good."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N First of all, I am incredibly sorry for the long wait between the last chapter and this one and I hope that you all still remember what happened in this story. Nevertheless, I hope that this now M-rated chapter will make up for the long wait (it is also twice as long as my previous updates)! I can already let you know that chapter nine will probably take another while to be uploaded too, so I hope you won't forget about this fic while I will try my best to keep the updates on a regular basis. And now - please enjoy and leave me some feedback!**

"I'm so sorry that I can't make it tonight, but my boyfriend is taking me out on a date and we've been wanting to do this for days," Monica explained to her friend Lauren from culinary school whilst holding onto her books. She couldn't help but beam when she told people that she had a boyfriend. And a pretty amazing one at that. "Oh yeah, of course!" Lauren hit her forehead with her hand as if to intensify her dumbness. "Chester, isn't it? Say no more, I'm sure we'll find another day for girl's night." Monica was just about to reply, but Lauren was already making her way out through the hallway, waving. "It's Chandler!" she nevertheless replied. Sometimes she wished that everyone could see what a sweet person the joker Chandler Bing really was.

Sighing, she picked up her things and checked her watch in the process. Chandler had told her to be ready at 7pm, which gave her about two more hours. She had tried her hardest to get out of him where he would be taking her, but it had been a lost cause. She had always thought of herself as a determined and stubborn person, but Chandler could be just as merciless if he wanted. Arriving at her dorm, she closed the door shut and took a deep breath, running a hand through her messy hair. She definitely needed a shower.

As the hot water hit her body, she thought about the fact that they both still hadn't slept together. Not that she minded, but all of a sudden she grew very nervous. What if he didn't like her body? Her gaze drifted to her small breasts, her petite waist and her skinny legs. What if that was the reason they hadn't slept together yet? It took her a few seconds to realise that what she was thinking was absolute crap. He had told her that he loved her and she knew that there were far more repulsive bodies out there than her own. After all, she had worked very hard for this body. A confident smile appeared on her lips and she put on some music and started to shave her legs. Who knew, maybe it would happen tonight.

[-]

Meanwhile, Chandler was pacing his room. If he didn't go out to smoke a cigarette every now and then he was sure that he would have created a circle-shaped indentation in the dingy dorm carpet already. He needed tonight to be perfect. And perfect was a word that Chandler had had some difficulties with in the past years of his life. He had planned everything meticulously, he had even set up a check list, a habit which he was sure he had picked up from Monica. Biting his lip, he flopped down on his bed again and grabbed the note pad that had his scribbled handwriting all over the page.

\- gas up the car ✓

\- blankets ✓

\- pillows ✓

\- soda, wine ✓

\- snacks ✓

His gaze slowly wandered down to the bottom of the page where he had added another item in a tiny and almost illegible writing.

\- condoms ✓

He grimaced and looked at the word a little while longer. And all of a sudden, the urge to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes was back again. Needless to say that he was incredibly nervous. He and Monica still hadn't slept together and he just knew that the topic was something both of them had been thinking about a lot in the past few days. And the worst part of it was that Monica still had no idea that Chandler was still - well, let's say - unexperienced. He buried his face in his hands, all he could think about was how embarrassing it would be to tell her. He had even thought about not telling her at all and to just _go along _with it, but he knew that she deserved to know the truth and that it would make him feel better, too. At least he hoped so. He would surely not tell her about all the ridiculous stuff regarding sex that he had been googling in the last two hours (just to make sure he would find the right entrance!). Once more, Chandler cursed his life when a whole other problem popped into his head.

Would he need to shave... down there?

_Oh for f**k's sake! _He quickly got up in an attempt to find help from Google again when suddenly the door opened and Ross came in. "Hey, man," he greeted him with a short nod as he closed the door. "'Sup?" Chandler inwardly cringed at the familiar greeting his roommate had once picked up from god-knows-who and liked to use now and then in an attempt to sound _cool_. "Uh..." For a second, Chandler thought about asking Ross for advice before quickly dismissing the thought again. That would only lead to awkwardness and, worst of all, Ross questioning who Chandler was trying to get into bed. "Just about to take a shower," he answered instead before quickly disappearing into the small bathroom. His own instincts would have to do this time and his fear of bleeding to death in case he accidentally cut himself while shaving _down there_ (let's face it, he was Chandler, after all) prevented him from going any further.

An hour later, Chandler nervously checked himself in front of the mirror. It seemed that destiny was doing him at least one favour because Ross was already gone again. Running a hand through his lightly gelled back hair, he bit his lip and slowly pushed his jeans and boxers down. He still wasn't sure whether Monica really wanted to go _that far_ tonight. He decided to finally take off before his nerves would completely get the best of him. Grabbing the flowers, a blindfold and his keys, he headed out of his dorm building, praying that tonight would go perfect. At least as far as 'perfect' was defined in Chandler's dictionary - mostly as 'disastrous'.

[-]

"Well, who is this beautiful lady? I really am lucky tonight," Chandler checked out his gorgeous girlfriend from head to toe as she opened the door for him. He could swear that Monica got more beautiful with every passing day. Monica beamed back at him, pleased with the reaction she had on Chandler. Buying the new red dress that showed a bit of cleavage surely had been the right decision.

"Aw, thank you. You don't look so bad yourself," she flirted back, impressed by his casual and yet fancy attire. To calm her nerves she had already had a can of beer, but she decided not to tell him about that. She knew the alcohol already had an effect on her because she felt a lot more playful and daring while pulling him close by his tie. "I can't wait for you to take me out tonight," she tried her hardest to sound seductive as she planted a long kiss on his lips.

Chandler tasted the slight amount of alcohol on her lips, somewhat relieved that he wasn't the only one who needed to calm his nerves before tonight. "Oh yeah, about that... so you know how this whole thing is sort of very secretive," he smiled slightly and looked into her blue eyes that looked even more adventurous today. Monica raised her eyebrow, not sure if she could take more of his secret demeanour. "Come on Chandler, just tell me already! I don't even know if I'm dressed accordingly," she whined, still playing with his tie. But Chandler just shook his head. "I'm not going to tell you, Mon. And your outfit is perfectly suited for what I have planned. Although you might want to take a jacket with you."

She pulled away from him for the first time and quickly grabbed her jacket. "Oh, that means we're going outside!" For a moment she was excited to have found out a little detail about his plans, but then she realised that a lot of dates involved going outside even if it was just for a walk after dinner. "Can we go now?" He laughed softly, still wondering how she got to be so cute, before taking her hand into his. "Yes, ma'am."

Monica's pulse quickened when she saw that he had brought the Porsche. The previous first dates she'd had had not been very special and she was already certain that tonight would be wonderful. Most of all because it was Chandler who she got to spend it with. "Oh yay, we're going out for a spin!"

Chandler couldn't help but smile upon seeing the excitement in her eyes. "Yes, we are. But - you are going to have to wear this because the location of our date is still a secret." He lifted up the blindfold and he swore that he had never seen a face fall so quickly. "No way! That's not fair, Chandler!" He was already met by her whiny voice. "Oh, but who was saying anything about this date being fair?" He chuckled as he put it over her eyes and tied it together at the back of her head, even if she was protesting a little. "Just trust me, it'll be good," he leaned in and kissed her nose and Monica already knew that she would never forget tonight.

[-]

After they had been driving for about an hour, Chandler stopped the car and smirked to himself. He was sure that Monica would absolutely love the place he had chosen for tonight. The trunk was fully loaded with the blankets, pillows, drinks and snacks from his list and Chandler opened the door of the Porsche that, thankfully to Monica, he had been using a lot more frequently.

"Are we finally there?" Monica asked as her excitement grew momentarily.

"Yes. We are." Chandler said carefully, knowing full well how quickly her voice could reach 'ultrasonic level'. He was certain that Monica's own excitement was contagious because he swore that he had never been this nervous in his life. "You just need to wait a few more seconds." Another groan from her as he quickly and as quietly as possible set up the blanket with the pillows and the food. Making sure that the tea candles were securely placed in the sand, he lit them up and couldn't help but feel a little proud by what he had created. When he was done, he finally tended to Monica again who was now on the brink of exploding.

"Alright, sweetie. I'm done," Chandler took a deep breath as he placed her in front of him so she was facing the secluded beach and the ocean, their little picnic right in front of her. "Are you ready?" He knew he didn't have to ask when Monica replied eagerly. "Of course I'm ready!" A small laugh escaped his lips as he encircled one arm around her petite waist while taking the blindfold off. "I hope you like it."

When the blindfold left her face it took her a few seconds to adjust to the light. When she did, her mouth dropped upon seeing the beautiful scenery and all the effort that her boyfriend had put into creating a perfect date for her. "Chandler." She was completely lost for words as she touched her chest, still in awe. He knew that he had done everything right, Monica's speechlessness was proof enough. "Do you like it?" he whispered as he kissed the side of her face. He couldn't imagine a more perfect moment in life than to be here with her.

"It's so incredibly beautiful," she finally managed to say, still taking in the view. "This is where we had out first date," Monica turned slightly to find his eyes and he smiled at her, nodding. "I immediately fell in love with this place and I thought it would be nice to come back here, you know?" A big smile crept upon her lips as she turned in his arms and cupped his face. "You are the most wonderful boyfriend ever, Chandler Bing." He smirked slightly as he shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, I try." Monica laughed, now visibly relaxed as she gave him a long kiss. She still had no idea how she got so lucky.

[-]

Monica was contently wrapped up inside of Chandler's arms, the darkness of the night engulfing them as the candles lit up their faces from time to time. She stifled another yawn, the warmth of Chandler's body and the wine they had consumed slowly making her tired. "Do we need to go back soon?" She finally asked, but felt him shake his head in return. "No, I thought we'd maybe stay the night. It's such a long drive back and we both had some wine, so I figured we could sleep in the car? That's also why I brought all the blankets and pillows." He smiled at her, hoping that she was up for it. "Oh yeah, that sounds alright," she nodded in agreement, suddenly very awake again. "You'll have to protect me from all the wild things out here then." A smile was on her face as she turned to look at him. He laughed softly in return as he tightened his grip around her subconsciously. "I'll try my best."

They stayed like this for another few minutes until Monica finally made the first move. "I... I kind of have to pee," she admitted shyly. Chandler smirked as he got up with her and started to blow out the candles. "Go ahead, sweetie, I promise I won't look. You know, there's two options." He pointed to the ocean first, and Monica tilted her head. "Ha-ha, very funny," she retorted before she made her way over to some bushes. At the same time, Chandler put the blankets into the back of the car and tried to create a comfortable and cosy bed for them.

Monica felt her excitement grow again as she took a deep breath, still determined to make tonight _the night_. She glanced over to where Chandler was still arranging the pillows, knowing that she would be the one to make the first step. Still behind the bushes, she took the scunchie out of her hair and let it fall upon her shoulders before she pushed her dress over her head, now only in her underwear.

"Chandler, are you done?" She walked back over to the car, her dress now casually draped over her shoulder as she bit her lip, hoping that he would take the hint. As he turned and saw her standing there only in her underwear, his mouth dropped and he accidentally hit his head on the car roof from too much excitement. "Oh f**k!" Chandler's hand immediately found the back of his head as the pounding pain intensified.

Monica covered her mouth with her hand as she quickly ran over to him. "Oh God, honey, are you okay? I was just... I just wanted to surprise you," she timidly explained while blushing. She definitely had to work on her art of seduction. Chandler sat down slowly as he nodded, trying to focus on anything else but the pain. "Don't worry, it's my fault." And once again he was ruining everything. Monica squeezed herself on his lap as she examined the back of his head carefully. "Does it hurt a lot?"

All of a sudden, Chandler had forgotten about the pain. The fact that Monica was sitting in his lap, wearing nothing but her underwear was enough for the throbbing pain to shift down south. He mumbled something incoherent as he still couldn't take his eyes off her perfectly rounded breasts and her smooth, freckled skin.

Monica pulled away slightly and looked at him, noticing that his attention was somewhere else. She couldn't help but smile at the fact that her plan was working after all. "Honey," she softly whispered, feeling the side of his face until he finally looked into her eyes again, his face crimson. "Do you want to get a little more comfortable in there?"

Chandler's heart rate was exceeding rapidly as he felt himself nod. This was it. He would have to tell her very soon.

Monica grinned, nervous as well even though she tried not to show it. She crawled into the car slowly and motioned for him to join her. He had to admit that he had really outdone himself when it came to the cosy blankets that surely created a romantic atmosphere. Chandler's throat felt dry as he got into the car, not really sure what to do next. Thankfully, Monica pulled him in close and took the lead. "Thank you for tonight. It was perfect," she looked into his eyes and gave him a few soft kisses at first before things quickly got heated. She cupped his face and he welcomed her tongue and her weight on top of him. They made out for another while, Monica's hand softly running through his sandy brown hair. Her mouth found his earlobe and he swore he had never been so turned on in his life. "Mon...," he groaned as his hands roamed her back, still somewhat insecure how far he could go. "Hmm?" she just replied lazily, obviously completely focused on showering every part of his body with small and wet kisses. It wasn't long until her hands found the buttons of his shirt and a few seconds later, Chandler found himself half naked. Her entire touch made him feel like he was drowning as he watched how her hand played with his chest hair while her mouth was still placing kisses on his exposed skin.

"Mon... I need to tell you something," he tried again, this time she stopped and looked down into his eyes. She felt her heart hammering against her rib cage. Whenever this conversation came up it meant something bad. She tried her hardest to think of possible mistakes she had made before replying. "What is it?"

_Quick like a cat, just tell her and it's over._

"Uhhhm I..." he avoided her eyes now as he looked down. "I'm still a virgin, Mon." He was almost certain that she would laugh at him as his face turned a dark shade of red. But Monica just looked at him, touched by his confession. "Honey, that's okay. Are you embarrassed? You don't have to be," she lifted his chin up so he was looking at her again and she smiled slightly. "You are so cute, Chandler." He still wasn't sure what to expect as his heart rate slowed down. "W-what? Why is that cute?" She now laughed softly as she cupped his face and gave him a reassuring kiss. "Sweetie, the fact that you worry so much about how I was going to react makes me love you even more. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, so you haven't had sex yet, big deal. It makes it even more special knowing that I'll get to be your first," she tilted her head and smiled adoringly at him. He finally smiled back at her, pulling her closer. "Really?"

"Really." She nodded seriously. "Thanks for telling me." Chandler still wasn't entirely convinced as he looked at his girlfriend. "But... I don't even know what to do, Mon. What if I'll do it wrong?"

"Sweetie, you're not going to do it wrong. It's just something new, you'll know when it happens, you know," she said softly as she stroked his hair sweetly. He nodded and kissed her to let her know that he was up for it tonight. They had both been waiting long enough.

Monica smiled as she returned the kiss and shifted her attention to his jeans, her hands finding the zipper. She looked into his eyes as if waiting for his approval. When he nodded, she unzipped them and pushed his jeans off in one motion. Chandler's throat felt dry, but he felt a lot better now that she knew. "I'll help, don't worry," she whispered whilst getting on top of him again and steadying herself by holding on to his shoulders.

"Want to try something that'll make you feel really good?" Monica asked with a smirk, knowing she would do anything for Chandler. "You don't have to do anything yet." He nodded quickly before his doubts would get the best of him again. He trusted her with his life.

She took his hands into hers and started to grind against him, their underwear still serving as a barrier. Chandler's eyes closed immediately as he let out a soft but yet timid groan. Monica watched him intently as she continued the movement, knowing the effect it had on her boyfriend when she felt his erection come to life underneath her own body. She had never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Chandler in this very second, the wetness in her panties serving as obvious proof.

Suddenly, she had another idea as she slowly stopped the movement. "Honey, would it make you feel more comfortable if I wore the blindfold? Just for now, so you can get acquainted more easily?" Monica looked into his blue eyes as she picked it up from the back seat. Chandler just nodded in agreement. He had no idea how incredible all of this would feel. It was nothing compared to his fantasies.

Monica put the blindfold on and resumed her previous movements as she took his hands and put them on her hips. "Undress me."

Chandler watched his sexy girlfriend on top of him as he took all of his courage and tried to unhook her bra. To his surprise, the garment came off after the first try, and even Monica was smiling now. She took matters in her own hands as she tossed the bra aside, her pert nipples now standing up. When she still hadn't heard any response from Chandler, she decided to ask. "Do you like them?"

Chandler nodded, completely in awe and oblivious to the fact that she couldn't see his nod. "They're beautiful." He finally brought up enough courage and cupped them with his big hands, gaining even more confidence when she rewarded him with a moan. Apparently she liked what he was doing. He was still amazed by what Monica was doing for him, the blindfold really helping. Chandler pulled her closer as he leaned in and started to kiss her chest, advancing to her nipples as he carefully swirled his tongue around one. "Mhhh yes, that feels _so _good, Chandler," she moaned and ran her hand through his hair reassuringly. He probably had no clue, but he was incredibly talented.

"Yeah?" He grinned confidently and continued his movement on the other nipple, this time even biting softly. "F**k!"

He took that as a sign to go on as he tended to her chest some more, both of them enjoying the sensation of exploring each other's bodies. After a bit, Monica decided she would help him some more. She leaned down and found his lips as she kissed him softly.

"Chandler," she heard him hum in response, "are you ready for something else? I promise you it'll feel even more amazing."

"O-Okay," he nodded, knowing that he could trust her fully. "Will you still be wearing the blindfold?"

"If you want me to," Monica replied, not minding at all.

"Yeah."

Before he could prepare himself, Monica lifted her body up slightly and pushed her panties down her shaved legs, allowing him a glorious view on her pussy. He watched intently and noticed that she had left some hair just above it and it made him feel relieved that he wasn't the only hairy one tonight.

Monica smiled softly and started to feel his chest with her right hand, exploring every inch of his body. "I might need some help from you in a bit," she whispered as her hand drifted further down south until she was cupping his erection through his boxers. Chandler jumped slightly, still not used to someone touching him t_here_.

"Kay," he timidly replied, quickly getting used to the magic her hand was working.

She pushed his boxers off after a while and spread his legs as she kneeled down in front of him as best as she possibly could due to the restricted amount of space in the car. Her hand was now moving up and down his entire length rather quickly, but Chandler had completely succumbed to the amazing feeling. "Oh, sh*t!" It had become completely impossible for him to hide the curse words by now; he just didn't want her to stop, ever. Monica grinned as she slowed down her motions. "God, don't stop, Mon, please," he begged, trying to get her hand back up to the previous pace.

"Na-ah, be a good boy and have some patience," she slapped his hand away. "This is where I need your help."

He looked at her and he swore he had never seen anything more enticing in his entire life. "What do I have to do?" He breathlessly replied, the need for friction between his legs increasing.

"You need to tell me when you're close, okay? I know it's going to be hard, but I don't want you to cum before it's too late."

Chandler knew that things were about to get very serious as he nodded. "Okay, I'll try really hard."

Monica inched closer until she felt his slightly wet tip against her lips. She had never done this for any guy before, but Chandler was different. She was in love with Chandler, and she wanted to make him feel as good as possible. And she wasn't going to lie, a part of her had always wanted to try giving a blowjob. She parted her lips and pushed his hard-on past the entrance and into her throat, gagging slightly.

Chandler felt like he was going to explode already, letting the new sensation spread through his body. He swore that this was better than any high he had ever been on. "Sh***t, Mon, that feels amazing," he managed to say as his girlfriend started to slowly go up and down his length, clearly too 'occupied' to reply.

His words only encouraged her to go on as she found his balls and fondled them. Monica was surprised by the effect this action had on her own arousal, so she searched for Chandler's hand and put in on her wet opening, hoping he would take the hint. And he did.

Monica had been right all along; he had no clue what to do but somehow he was doing everything right. As she continued to suck him, he found her clit with his index finger and started to rub it, eliciting a couple of moans from her. This only encouraged Chandler to be more adventurous as he entered another finger inside of her pussy. "Oh God," Monica let out a small scream because he had taken her by surprise.

As she continued to suck him, Chandler felt the sensation in his body grow with every millisecond and he knew what Monica had been talking about earlier. He just didn't want her to stop. It took all of his will power to push her head back slowly. "I'm so close, babe." She took off the blindfold and let go of his cock with a plop, finally able to admire her boyfriend's naked body. Their eyes met and she climbed back on top of him, this time without the barrier of their underwear between them. They were both panting as she held on to him. "Did you bring protection?" Monica whispered, knowing that topic was always somewhat unpleasant.

Chandler made a face, still somewhat uncomfortable. "I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12." She started to laugh at his remark and he relaxed slightly. "I don't think that'll work..."

"I was only kidding, I uh... I bought a new pack," he then admitted, hoping it didn't make him sound overly eager. A smile spread across her features when he fumbled for the wrapper in his jeans pocket. Monica took it out of his hands and sexily opened it with her teeth, grinning at him. Chandler's nervousness was back on track now as she rolled the condom on him and steadied herself by holding on to his shoulders.

"Are you ready?" Her voice sounded caring and soft and it washed away all of Chandler's doubts.

"Yeah," he replied, his own voice hoarse and coated with excitment. He held both of her hips as she guided his cock inside of her, both of them moaning as they became one and Chandler was no longer a virgin.

"Oh God," he looked up into her eyes, the connection between both of them undeniable. Chandler followed his instincts and thrusted inside of her slowly but deeply, Monica rewarding him with moans as she guided their pace. Smiling, she looked down at her boyfriend and kissed him breathlessly. "I love you, Chandler."

He felt like his heart was about to burst as he continued to make love to her. "I love you too, Mon." They smiled at each other until they were both climbing, the need for a climax inevitable. "Oh f**k, I'm so close," Monica whimpered as he thrust in her faster. She didn't even need to tell him what to do, he pleased her in every possible way. Chandler felt her ass and sat up slightly to kiss her, now painfully aware of his own arousal. "Me too," he panted, quickening his pace when suddenly Monica came hard and her insides tightened around him, setting off his orgasm. "Oh sh*t!" He came quick and hard, Monica's tongue pressed against his and he felt better than he had ever felt in his entire life.

She grinned as she fell down next to him on the blanket, still panting. "That was incredible."

He smiled over at her as he tossed the condom out of the window, pulling her close to his bare body again. "It really was. Thank you for being the most amazing girlfriend on this planet," he leaned in and kissed her forehead, the urge to be as close to her as possible only intensified by their post-coital hormones.

"I try," Monica closed her eyes as she cuddled up into her boyfriend's arms, pulling the other blanket over their naked bodies. "And thank you for tonight, it was perfect." Chandler looked at her while she was holding onto him as if her life depended on it and he knew that he had done everything right.

The definition of the word 'perfect' in his dictionary had now been rewritten. 'Perfect' was anything that included spending time with Monica.

Little did he know that within a short amount of time the definition of the word 'perfect' would change again.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Guys, I am incredibly sorry to have kept you waiting this long, but I had a final oral exam to study for and now I can finally say that I have graduated from uni! (This might also explain why this chapter deals with something very similar.) Anyway, finally, here is the next chapter of the fic! I'm sorry that it's so short, but I will try to write more as I go on. I appreciate your support and I hope that you will continue reading this story even though it took me very long to update. As always I am very eager to hear your feedback!**

Chandler quickly gathered together his notes and then followed Ross outside of the classroom, jogging somewhat to keep up with his friend. They had just written their last exam of the term and Chandler couldn't be more relieved, and yet the thoughts about his future were nagging in the back of his mind. They were both almost done and if everything went according to plan, both Chandler, Ross and their fellow students had a graduation ceremony to attend three weeks from today.

"Dude, how was it?" Chandler had finally caught up with Ross, breathless due to his weak lung. Ross stopped abruptly, causing Chandler to crash into him.

"Oh man, sorry, I am meeting Carol in a few minutes over at the psychology building and I gotta run. Catch up later though?" He patted Chandler's back and was gone a second later.

"Sure, _man._" Chandler mumbled as he got out of the way, glancing at his watch. "Great, now you're talking to yourself. Get a grip!"

He figured he might as well pick up Monica as they had plans to meet later the day anyway, to celebrate the end of the term and, most of all, Chandler's graduation. He still could not believe that he was done with college. It all just felt so _surreal_. And too rea_l._ He simply wasn't ready for 'the real world' out there. Yes, he had written a couple of applications but he hadn't heard back from any of them. And on top of it he really wasn't sure if that was exactly what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He let out a deep sigh and snapped out of his daydream, making his way to Monica's place.

[-]

When Monica came back to her room, the first thing she noticed was an exhausted-looking Chandler who was leaning against her door. She smiled to herself until she approached him. Her boyfriend sure was a cute catch.

"Finally, there's the Chandler I ordered," Monica smirked as he got up quickly when he saw her.

"Oh hey, babe. How were your exams?" He quickly pulled her in for a hug and gave her a kiss.

She shrugged and unlocked the door for both of them. "I guess they were alright. How were yours? I can't believe you're nearly done now!" She couldn't help but finally mentioned what both of them had been trying to ignore the past few months. Monica knew that Chandler would leave campus soon and that their future together was uncertain.

Chandler tried to hide his anxiousness as he nodded and followed her inside. "Yeah, neither can I. They were pretty alright, I think." He plopped down on one of her chairs, knowing the discussion of their future was inevitable.

Monica was facing him as she took a deep breath. As much as she dreaded it, they needed to have this conversation. It was going to be painful either way.

"So..." she slowly started as she looked over at her boyfriend. "What are your plans for the future? Do you even have any?"

Chandler looked into her blue eyes, wishing he could freeze the picture forever. "Well, I have sent out a few applications, but I haven't heard back from any of them. I doubt it'll work out. I guess I'll just either try to get an internship first, you know, my mom has some contacts. Or I'll get a job for the meantime to earn some money while I continue to search."

Monica looked at him as she listened intently, her heart beating quickly. She still didn't know if that meant they could stay together. As if on cue, Chandler took her hand into his. "I definitely want to try and stay in New York during this, Mon. I don't really want to leave you just yet." He smirked and she finally relaxed somewhat.

"Oh, good. I don't really want you to leave just yet either." She knew that it was too early on in their relationship to talk about their future together, but deep down she already knew that she wanted to spend it with him. And him only.

[-]

Three weeks later, the big day had arrived. Ross and Chandler had indeed managed to get their degrees, Ross obviously having earned some of the best grades. Even Chandler's family had come down to attend his graduation ceremony, both of his parents watching proudly from their seats when their son accepted his diploma.

Monica was just a few rows behind them as she applauded at the mention of her boyfriend's name. She couldn't have been prouder, and yet a hint of sadness was tugging on her heart strings. Their wonderful and unconcerned time was coming to an end, making way to the harsh real world tasks.

"Oh honey, I am _so, so _proud of you!" Nora flung her arms around her only son, to Chandler's own dismay. He watched as Monica supressed a laugh at the sight of his agonised facial expression. She had already heart a lot about his mum, but only through the eyes of Chandler. It was needless to say that she didn't come off too well. Monica was still in disbelief that she was dating _Nora Bing_'s son. But she would never admit that to Chandler. Some things were better left unsaid.

Since they both had not mentioned their relationship to anyone, Monica was careful as not to show too much affection whilst congratulating Chandler. Apparently, she failed miserably.

"So, you two kids, when did this happen?" Nora made a gesture between the two of them which was everything but subtle. Chandler's eyes went wide as he tried to shush his mother without anyone else noticing.

"Ah, so I was right!" Nora had a triumphant smile on her lips when she noticed Monica and Chandler's flushed expressions.

"Yes, yes, you were right! But it's still a secret so you better be quiet!" Chandler explained quickly, always making sure that Ross was nowhere to be seen. Nora looked at both of them in an adoring fashion. She had never seen him so happy and she was sure it wasn't because he had just graduated.

"Well, I hope to hear all the details in due time." She patted Chandler's shoulder and made her way over to the bar, leaving the pair all flustered. Monica was the first one to find her voice again. "So, that's your mom, huh?"

Chandler took a deep breath as he looked down at Monica. "Yup, that's her. Do you understand now why I didn't want you to meet her?" He couldn't help but show her a smirk. "No, not really. She actually seems great!"

"Oh dear. Just wait until she starts to ask you about our sex life." Monica let out a snort and was met with Chandler's serious expression. "I'm telling you."

"Whatever. How about you just appreciate the fact that both of your parents came to your graduation? That is pretty amazing, and honestly, they both look so proud. And I'm proud of you too, Chandler."

He looked at her slowly, thanking God every second that he was with someone so amazing. "Thanks. Mon, I couldn't have done it without you, I hope you know how thankful I am for that." Monica looked into his blue eyes, a smile on her lips as they both leaned in to kiss each other. Her arms were wrapped around his neck as she held him close, neither of them really caring if other people saw them like this. "I know." After a small pause she took his hand and motioned him to follow her. "Now let's go celebrate your graduation!" And deep inside they both knew that they weren't just celebrating Chandler's degree, but also saying goodbye to their carefree young love.

[-]

Two months later he was sitting on his bed, staring at the letter in his hand in disbelief, the black letters slowly getting blurry in front of his eyes. After months of having sent off his applications, he finally had a letter of acceptance. There was only one problem. The job was in Chicago. The lump in his throat grew bigger by the second and he was somewhat thankful for the shrill sound of his phone that brought him back to reality.

"Hello?" He finally managed to choke out, his voice hoarse from the news.

"Chandler, it's me."

"Hey, Mon, what's up?" If his mind hadn't been so overwhelmed from the life-altering letter he probably would have detected the timidness in her own voice. There was a small pause on the other end as he heard her take a deep breath.

"We need to talk."

**A/N To be continued! I know, I'm cruel.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Folks, thanks a lot for your reviews! I am glad that you are still reading the story even though I had to abandon it for the past few weeks. I guess now there's no point denying it anymore - your guesses have been right! There was one review by 'Mondler2014' which questions I quickly want to answer since I can't message her: The title doesn't really have a specific meaning I guess, I was just really obsessed with the song at that point and I guess you can find elements in the story where the title applies. But I leave that up to you guys! And just to clear things up: no, there has not been a gap of 1-2 years between chapter eight and nine, sorry if that came off wrong. It was supposed to be a skip of approx. 3 weeks between them sleeping together and the graduation.**

**Anyway, obviously I couldn't let you wait that long after such a cliffhanger and I found some time to write, so please enjoy chapter ten! I haven't really figured out much but I think that the story might have about 15 chapters. As always, reviews are very much welcome because they result in me updating more frequently!**

"We need to talk."

Chandler was way too occupied with thoughts about the job offer that were bound to change his future forever. He recalled the conversation that he had with Monica just a few weeks ago and mentally hit himself. Why did he promise her that he would never leave her? He hadn't even expected anything to come out of all these applications; hell, he didn't even know what it was that he wanted to do exactly. All he had cared about was to be able to spend as much of his time as possible with her, but apparently his destiny had other plans for him.

"Chandler? Are you still there?"

Her voice brought him back to reality as he nodded quickly, tossing the letter aside. "Yeah. Uh, so what is it you want to talk about?"

He noticed a soft intake of breath on the other line, but never in a million years would he have thought that her news would hit him a million times harder.

Monica was sitting in her dorm room, her text books spread across her table as she had been in the midst of preparing for her third and last year at culinary school. Amidst all the mess that was so untypical for Monica lay, neatly lined up next to each other, three pregnancy tests. And all of them were positive.

Her eyes were red and puffy from having spent the last two hours crying her heart out until she had finally found the courage to call Chandler. There was no denying it, she was pregnant. And Chandler had to know, even if it meant that he would freak out. She could sense that he sounded somewhat preoccupied, but she had to tell him now.

"I kind of want to do this in person. Do you have time to come over?" She played with the hem of her shirt, occasionally glancing over at the tests that showed her the unevitable truth.

Pregnant. Pregnant. PREGNANT.

Chandler took a deep breath, not sure why Monica needed to talk r_ight now_, but he figured anything was better to get his mind off the decision he had to make regarding his future. Perhaps it was the best idea to ask Monica for advice even though he already knew her answer. "Sure, I finished work before so I can get the car and I'll be at your place in 30 minutes. Sound good?"

"Yeah, it does. I'll see you then." She hung up immediately, her mind going a million miles a second. T minus 30 minutes until she had to tell him the truth. And it was one hell of a test for their young love. A test which she didn't know they would be able to pass.

[-]

Somewhat relieved but still extremely nervous, Chandler decided to stop at Burger King on his way to Monica. He just needed some junk food and he knew that Monica wouldn't say no either. Especially after what she was about to tell him wasn't something he would be too thrilled about either, he guessed from the tone of her voice. 'We need to talk' never means something good. If he didn't know much about relationships, that he knew. The heavenly smell that came out of the bag was the only good thing in his life at the moment and he continued to think about the phone call. What could Monica possibly want to talk to him about? Was she seeing someone else? Had she got tired of their relationship? Before he knew it he had arrived at the parking lot in front of her dorm building and he knew there was no turning back. Grabbing the food, Chandler locked his car and made his way over to her place ever so slowly. How did his life turn to crap without him noticing it?

Inside, Monica was pacing around, glancing at the clock every few seconds. He was late. If he didn't show up in the next ten minutes she knew she would explode. She had hid the tests that were wrapped up in toilet paper in the bathroom drawer, knowing that he would surely demand proof. That was, if he was able to talk afterwards. Just when she thought she couldn't take the tension any longer, she heard a knock on her door. This was it, no turning back.

"Hey," Chandler greeted her slowly, leaning in for a kiss that he wasn't sure she would return. When she did, he felt somewhat relieved, so he lifted up the bag of food and walked past her into her room. "I brought us some burgers and fries, I haven't eaten yet so I figured we'd do it together?"

Monica nodded absent-mindedly as she followed him. All she knew was that she needed to tell him quickly. She wasn't so sure whether he still had an appetite after what she was about to tell him.

"So, I have some news," she sat down opposite from him, knowing that her knees would give way otherwise.

Chandler nodded, but when he was about to reach out for a burger, Monica stopped him. He looked at her, somewhat dumbfounded, but obeyed. Clearly this was worse than he had assumed if she wouldn't even let him eat. He watched as she disappeared into the bathroom for a few seconds, then appeared again, her arms behind her back. Before he even had the chance to ask, she said the sentence that hit him like a million bricks.

"I'm pregnant."

He just looked at her, up and down, then up again, his eyes narrowing and his pulse reaching a speed that made his head spin. He thanked God that Monica had prevented him from eating, or otherwise he would now be choking on his burger.

"P-pregnant? As in... I just..." Apparently he had also lost the ability to form words. He just wanted to hit himself.

Monica was still standing in front of him, now shoving a white stick into his face, as if Chandler had even the slightest assumption that she had been playing a cruel joke on him.

"There are two more in the bathroom, they're all positive. In case you thought I wasn't entirely sure before telling you." Her arms were akimbo and Chandler swore he had never seen her like this before. It was only now that he noticed that she had been crying, and yet she still seemed so tough in front of him. If he had to use one word to describe how Monica appeared to him now, it would be _frightening_.

Chandler finally took the test in his hands that Monica had still been holding in front of his face, just to satisfy her. As if him holding the stick would make things even more real. This already was as real as it could get. Real and fucking scary. Chandler had never felt so helpless in his entire life.

Monica sat down across from him again, eyeing him closely. The last she needed now was a boyfriend who just wanted to run away from things. Now was the time that she needed his support more than ever. When he was still staring at the test a minute later, Monica inhaled loudly.

"Chandler, what are we going to do about this?"

He finally looked up at her, his face still in disbelief. He was glad that he at least seemed to have found his voice again. "I... I'm not sure."

When he saw the hurt expression in her eyes, he knew that was not what she needed to hear right now. "Look," he took all of his courage and reached out for her hand across the table, taking it in his. "I know what both of us are thinking right now. That we didn't even plan this, that we are too young, that we don't even have a job, and so on."

Monica finally let him embrace her hand as she looked at him skeptically.

"But... I promise you that I will be there for you whatever you decide to do. Because I love you. And I know that we can do this. It's not going to be easy, but if you are willing to try this with me, I will not run away, okay?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, close to tears again. "Of course it's not going to be easy, Chandler, it's going to be fucking hard! It's easy for you to say, but I haven't even finished college! And I am the one who has to carry this baby for the next six months. I'm the one that they will look at and point, Chandler. Not you."

Chandler felt his heart break as he got up and walked over to his girlfriend, pulling her in for a hug. At first, he felt her pull away until she broke down completely and clung to his shirt, wetting it with her tears. "Sshh," he tried to soothe her as he continously rubbed her back, lost for words. After another few minutes of silence that was only interrupted by Monica's sobs, Chandler pulled away slightly and pushed some of her dark hair behind her ear. "Mon, do you even want to keep this baby?"

He didn't know why he felt this way, but it was the one question he was most afraid to hear the answer to.

When she nodded, a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders. And in that second, he knew that he already loved their unborn baby with everything he had.

"Good." Kissing her nose, Monica finally looked into his eyes again. "But how are we going to handle this? We don't have jobs."

Chandler nodded, remembering the letter he had received before. The letter that he had thought would completely turn their lifes around. Boy, had he been wrong. "I actually got a job offer in the mail today."

Monica's face lit slightly up, but Chandler's expression didn't mirror hers. "Why isn't this a good thing?" She was now scared to hear the answer. Chandler took a deep breath and touched the top of her nose, wiping away a tear. "It's in Chicago, Mon."

The lump in Monica's throat got impossibly bigger as she got up quickly, running over to the bathroom when Chandler heard her throw up. He waited a few seconds until he decided to follow her, kneeling down next to her on the bathroom floor as he pushed her hair back. When she was done, she timidly looked into his eyes. "Did you think about taking it?"

Chandler bit his lip as he looked into her eyes slowly. "I did. For like a second. But now that I know about this," he reached out his hand and gently put it on Monica's still flat stomach, "no way I am leaving you two."

Chandler saw her smile for the first time that day and noticed how much he had missed that smile. "I will find something in New York, I promise you. I mean, for now I still have that job at the ad company and my trust fund and I am sure our parents are going to help us out too until I find something. Just don't worry too much, okay? We'll make it work."

Monica nodded slowly, knowing they still had a lot of problems to deal with in the near future, but the fact that Chandler was staying and supporting her and their baby already meant the world to her. "Thanks, Chandler."

He smiled at her sheepishly and kissed her forehead, cupping her face in his hands. "I thought you were going to break up with me," he finally admitted.

She looked at him and saw that he looked genuinly worried. "And that would have been worse than this?"

"Much worse."

Letting out a soft laugh, she shook her head and pulled him in for another hug. "Never in a million years, Chandler Bing."

"That's what you say now. Just wait until this little one is born."

Monica's eyes met his and she couldn't help but smile. He was right. Everything would be okay.

**A/N Way too corny. Right? Right?!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N I feel like you already know what I'll be putting here. Yes, I am sorry for the long wait. And I am also sorry for the short chapter. I am probably also sorry for its crappiness. Truth is, I'm not feeling very inspired to continue this at the moment, but I am still posting this for the sake of not wanting to make you wait any longer. I am very disappointed with myself because honestly, that's not how I want to write stories. I want to be satisfied with what I write and I want to be in the mood to actually update. I promise you that I will definitely finish this story, but I can't promise you that it'll always be top-notch quality. Perhaps I should really stick to oneshots, I'm just a very terrible updater and producer of long chapters.**

**Okay, enough with the rambling, I hope you will at least enjoy this a tiny bit. And as always, thanks so much for all your sweet feedback!**

92 days. 12 weeks. Three months.

She was three months pregnant and was growing an _actual _human being. She had to remind herself of the fact every single day. Her stomach was still flat and she knew that it would take another while until she started showing, but it was nevertheless unavoidable. She would be having Chandler's baby in less than six months.

The clock in the doctor's waiting room ticked away as she bit on her nails nervously. He should be here by now. She definitely did not want to do this without him. He was the only person who knew until now and she wish she didn't have to tell anyone else yet.

She absent-mindedly placed her hand on her abdomen, nontheless wondering if, perhaps, she felt something.

Right in that very moment, a stressed Chandler entered the waiting room, his face sweaty and red.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Mon. The traffic was hell!" He quickly made his way over to her, ignoring the other people in the room. If they weren't in such a serious situation she would have laughed at him by now. Leaning in, he gave her a kiss and noticed the panic in her blue eyes. "You knew I wouldn't miss this, right?"

She took a deep breath and lowered her voice, not in the mood for all the other couples to listen to their problem. They probably looked down on them already considering they were still so young. Feeling the embarrassment grow, she just shook her head and looked down on the parenting magazine in her lap.

"I know," she just said, not wanting to start a big discussion now. Chandler still didn't look convinced, but decided to drop the topic anyway. He'd already heard about pregnant women and mood swings about a million times, but never had he thought that it would start that early on. They sure were facing a tough six months ahead of them.

Just when he thought he couldn't take the silence any more, the nurse called Monica's name. He followed suit until they reached the examination room. Boy, he had been wrong. This would be a lot more uncomfortable than the waiting room.

As Monica sat down carefully on the chair, he put his hand into his jeans pockets and made a face at all the weird metal instruments that were placed next to the chair. If he didn't know better he would assume he was in a medieval torture chamber.

Monica looked over at him quizzically and noticed the clueless and slightly panicky look on his face. Before he could ask, she turned to him and began instead.

"I just need to know that you are one hundred percent in this, Chandler. With me. I don't want to spend half of the time wondering whether you actually will be there or not."

Chandler looked at her, so small in the chair, and yet she seemed so tough to him.

Definitely torture chamber.

"Mon, I am sorry I screwed this up." He took a few steps and was now standing next to her, carefully taking her hand into his. At first she pulled away, but then she realised that she definitely needed him now. "I promise it won't happen again. The interview took a bit longer and when I got out there was no vacant cab in sight. I decided to run a few blocks and..."

Monica looked up from her lap when the doctor entered the room, giving her a much needed encouraging smile.

"Hi there, you must be Monica. I'm Doctor Smith." The friendly woman shook her hand and Chandler backed off slightly, clearing his throat.

"It's nice to meet you, Doctor Smith. This is Chandler. He's the father," she shot him a quick look and decided to confront him later.

"Hi, Chandler." The doctor shook his hand too and proceeded to look at Monica's file. There was nothing left for Chandler to do, so he decided to sit on the chair next to Monica and best shut up unless he was needed again.

"Alright, let's have a look then." The woman gave Monica a warm smile and motioned for Monica to lean back and told her to relax.

Chandler inwardly cringed. How this woman expected someone to relax seemed entirely absurd to him. He was anything but relaxed. He zoned out as the doctor asked Monica several questions about her health and the date of her last period, but the rest of it was a blur to Chandler.

After that, he was asked to leave the room during Monica's physical and he didn't mind at all. He had known for a few days that he was going to be a dad, but it was only now that it sunk in.

He would have to take care of an _actual _human being.

The blood drained from his veins and he felt his knees give in, needing to sit down as soon as possible.

He would be a dad.

[-]

Monica looked over at him when he opened the door to the examination room again. He sensed the fear in his eyes and mentally hit himself for leaving her alone. From now on he would always be on her side. He would be there for her and for their unborn baby.

"Good that you're back, Mr Bing, we're about to do the first ultrasound," Doctor Smith explained as she hooked up the machine.

Chandler nodded and felt his heart beat at the speed of light. He would be able to see the baby today. He had completely blocked that out.

Before he knew it, Monica's small and sweaty hand had wrapped itself around his. He squeezed it softly and watched the doctor place some gel on Monica's stomach. She shivered slightly upon the contact and Chandler finally felt like he had gathered up enough courage to kiss her forehead softly.

"Let's see this little one, shall we?" Doctor Smith moved the machine over Monica's stomach and both Chandler and Monica's gazes were fixed upon the still black screen.

"There it is."

They both watched as the doctor pointed to a small potato-like formation that was, according to the medical professional, their baby.

"Wow... it's..." Chandler looked at it more closely, in search of a word to describe what he was seeing.

"Beautiful."

Chandler looked down at Monica, who was smiling for the first time since he saw her today. And he noticed something else. She looked genuinly happy.

"I'll give you three a minute," the doctor said and closed the door behind herself.

For the first time in 21 years, Chandler was actually speechless.

"Yeah."

Monica laughed softly and proceeded to wipe away a tear that was running down her cheek which she hadn't even noticed before.

"Well, it's half you, right? So naturally it's a beautiful baby." Chandler said softly as his gaze was still fixed on the screen, his thumb caressing Monica's hand.

"Chandler Bing, are you trying to make up for what you did earlier today?"

He finally looked into her eyes and gave her a smile, then leaned in to place a kiss on her lips. "Well, you know..."

They both smiled at each other and enjoyed the silence, letting the fact that they were having a baby sink in.

"You know that the next step is telling our parents, right?" Monica brought them both back to reality.

"Oh, I know. Couldn't stop thinking about it ever since you told me. I'm terrified." He tried to put on a smile for her, but was failing miserably.

"More terrified than about this little one?" Monica raised her eyebrow skeptically, knowing quite a few details about his fear of commitment and screwing things up.

"It might be a tie," he admitted, finally able to smile again. "But as long as we do it together, I think they won't kill us."

"Well, they can't kill me because I'm growing a baby. So don't allow yourself to be lulled into a false sense of security." She looked at him seriously before cracking a smile.

"Boy, you'll be a very encouraging mom," Chandler winked before she slapped his arm.

Maybe not such a terrible torture chamber after all.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I can't believe it took me nearly 5 months to post the next chapter. I am so incredibly sorry. I know how much you want to see this finished and so do I. I just really have either had no time or no inspiration to continue with this. I still can't promise you frequent updates, but as I have said months ago already – I do plan to finish this at one point. To those who still keep up with this, thank you! I know how incredibly exhausting it is to read stuff that hasn't been updated in so long, I bet most of you already have no clue anymore what this story is even about or where I left it off. I hope you can forgive me and can still find some joy in reading this chapter. Once again, thank you!**

"Shit, shit, shit," Chandler was sitting behind the wheel of his car, continously banging his hed against the stearing wheel.

"Uh, explain to me again: why exactly did we have to have sex four months ago?" He glanced over at Monica for a second before fisting his hair in desperation. They were parked outside the Geller's house where they were invited for dinner. Monica had arranged all of it as an attempt to tell her parents about the big news. And to Chandler's dismay, Ross would be there, too. He had always been afraid to meet the parents of his future girlfriend, mainly because that meant that she would also want to meet his. And that would surely end in a disaster.

Though he was now very sure that nothing would top this day.

He was about to meet his girlfriend's parents for the first time _and _they were about to be told that he had knocked up their only daughter.

Just when Chandler had thought his life couldn't suck anymore, it did.

Monica just shot him a warning glance without moving. "Chandler, I'm just as thrilled about this as you are."

She sounded angry at first, but when Chandler looked over at her he noticed that she was actually close to tears.

If he hadn't been feeling bad enough already, being the reason that Monica was crying made him feel even worse.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry," he reached over and pulled her as close to him as she could get seeing as they were in a car.

She seemed too tired to fight and it scared him somewhat. He wasn't quite sure how to get through the dinner without his feisty Monica being on his side to help him. Instead of saying more dumb things he just continued to hold her, rubbing the small of her back and kissing the top of her head.

"It'll be okay, we can get through this together. You're the strongest person I know, Mon."

She pulled away slightly and a small smile played around her lips.

"Yeah, but only when I'm with you, Chandler. We're in this together, remember?" She looked up into his blue eyes as they mirrored her own fear.

"I remember. And I'll try to remember every single day from now on," Chandler said softly while giving Monica an encouraging smile. "So you think we're prepared to enter the lion's den?"

"As ready as can be." She still sounded doubtful, but at least she had Chandler to share these doubts with.

They were greeted by an excited Jack Geller, who was over-enthusiastic to see his little 'Harmonica' again. Monica hadn't thought it to be possible, but the relationship with her parents had magically improved ever since she had moved out and started college. After she had exchanged a long hug with her father, Monica turned over and carefully reached out for Chandler's hand, noticing the mild panic visible on his features.

"Daddy, I want you to meet Chandler. I know Ross has mentioned him a couple of times because they were roommates but I don't think you've met?"

Chandler glanced at Monica shortly before extracting his hand and greeting Monica's father. He was pretty sure it were the circumstances of their very special situation, and yet he couldn't help but feel a certain nervousness and respect for this man. If he were to screw up today then this it would create a very strenuous future for his and Monica's offspring.

"It's nice to finally meet you, sir," Chandler stated, though he could see a questioning look on Mr Geller's face.

Monica moved closer to him for the first time since they got out of the car and Chandler felt a small wave of panic rise up inside of him. So that's what it felt like to be introduced as some girl's boyfriend. Except that he wasn't _some _girl's boyfriend, he was Monica's boyfriend. And as happy as that made him, it also made him incredibly scared to screw things up.

"Chandler, uh, ..." Monica fumbled with Chandler's fingers for a second before looking up at her father, "he is my boyfriend."

Chandler watched as Jack's face grew worried for a second and he felt the intense gaze practically pierce through him. He felt the need to say something himself but the feeling in his gut told him to better keep his mouth shut.

"Our little Harmonica has a boyfriend now? Well, I am sure your mother will be happy to hear that," Jack just said after a long pause and then winked at his daughter. "Come on in then, you two."

Monica shot Chandler a relieved look as they followed Mr Geller inside, keeping a bit of a distance.

"He seems to like you," Monica whispered, a small smile playing around her lips. "This is good."

Chandler just shot her a panicked look before she continued.

"My mother is the tough one, but don't worry about it, she would never approve of anyone who I introduced to her as my boyfriend."

Chandler noticed the defeated undertone in her voice but before he could comfort her, Ross was already making their way through the living room, spotting them immediately.

"Monica, you're here!"

Chandler watched him pull his sister into a hug that didn't last too long when his gaze fell on him.

"C-Chandler, w-what are you doing here?" Ross tried his hardest to not sound surprised, but his laugh came out all high and weird.

"Uh...," Chandler looked at Monica for help, but realised she had already taken the first step and told his father about them. The ball was now in his court. "I'm here with Monica," he choked out, realising how dumb that sounded just after he had said it.

Monica rolled her eyes slightly, Ross still staring at him in disbelief.

"Yeah umm... you see, we are kind of..., well, how do I put this...," he scratched the back of his head and looked at his long-time friend, preparing to get punched hard.

"You're what?" Ross' expression darkened and Chandler knew the longer he beat around the bush, the worse this entire revelation would get.

"We're a couple?" Chandler divided his gaze between Ross and his sister, watching the train wreck unfold in front of his eyes.

Ross looked at Chandler in disbelief, but Monica came to his aid.

"It's true, Ross. Chandler and I are dating," she said with a calm voice; Chandler being thankful that she took the focus off him for a second.

"D-dating? But... but you're my sister! And I thought you were my best friend! I can't believe this...!"

Chandler held his breath in as Monica continued to calm down her brother.

"Ross, I know this is a lot to take in for you but, please be supportive? We're really happy, he makes me so incredibly happy," she softly explained and Chandler felt it was safe to close the distance that was between him and Monica by wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close to him.

"It's true, Ross. We have something really special and I promise you that I am not going to screw this up. Your sister has helped me in so many ways and I can't imagine my life without her."

Chandler was wondering whether he had already said too much, but it was too late now anyway. He pulled Monica somewhat closer upon seeing the still shocked and slightly disgusted look Ross was giving them. The closeness now mainly served the purpose to keep _him _safe.

Ross remained silent for another while, continuing to shoot both of them death glares, but Chandler more so than Monica.

"Do mom and dad know about this?"

"Dad does, we just told him. But mom doesn't so I would appreciate you not telling her as we want to do that ourselves tonight," Monica looked at Ross pleadingly. "Can you keep this to yourself for now?"

Ross looked at both of them and finally gave in. "Okay. I am going to be supportive. But - this involves certain rules, okay?"

Monica rolled her eyes at her brother, clearly annoyed by his childish behaviour. "What?!"

"Chandler, if you e_ver _hurt my little sister, I swear to God..."

"Okay, Ross, enough with the trash talk!" Monica interrupted him even though she knew he only meant well.

"I am not going to hurt her, Ross, I promise you. She means the world to me."

Monica looked up at her boyfriend, touched by the sencerity with which he had just said that.

Ross glanced at Chandler as well, taking in a deep breath. "Okay. And also, I don't wanna see you do st_uff_ when I'm around!"

"Got it," Chandler just nodded, incredibly relieved that the majority of the Geller family now knew about them. He still had no idea how they would react to the news of him having impregnated their little _Harmonica_, though.

Before Chandler had any time to think, a lean woman with dark blond hair entered the living room.

"Monica, sweetie, there you are!"

Chandler bit his lip as he watched the scene in front of him, knowing of the problems that Monica had with her mother. He was sure it was because of everything Monica had confided in him that he already somewhat disliked this woman. Trying his best, Chandler plastered a smile on his face as Ross left them alone, patting his shoulder in an attempt to wish him good luck.

Once Monica pulled away from her mother's hug, she turned to look at Chandler.

"Mom, I want you to meet someone. This is my boyfriend, Chandler. He's was Ross' roommate at college up until last month."

"Oh, you have a boyfriend? I had no idea, sweetie! How come you've waited so long to introduce him to us?"

Chandler feigned a smile as he shook Judy's hand, somewhat surprised by Monica's sudden revelation.

"Uh, we just wanted to see how serious this was before involving our families, ma'am," Chandler explained. He hoped this didn't convey the image of a quick fling to Monica's mom.

"Yeah, but now that we're sure that this is something amazing we figured we should tell our families," Monica grinned up at Chandler, who felt somewhat uncomfortable of this much PDA in front of his girlfriend's mother who he had just met.

"Well, that's... great," Judy nodded, eager to change the subject. "Dinner is about ready, kids, just wash your hands and I'll see you in the dining room."

Chandler gave Monica a weird look, but she just shrugged it off. "That's just how she is. I doubt she even has the ability to be happy for me."

Chandler made sure that neither Ross nor any of his parents were around before kissing Monica's nose softly.

"I am happy for you. Especially since it's me who gets to experience all this happiness with you."

They both smiled at each other and Monica buried her face in his shirt for a second before taking in a deep breath.

"I have no idea how we're gonna tell them about... you know."

He could swear he felt her shake as he pulled his arms tighter around her small body, rubbing the small of her back.

"We'll figure something out. I... I mean, I think I should tell them anyway. It's sort of my fault and you've already told both of your parents, so..." Chandler looked down at her, not sure where all his sudden confidence had come from.

"Chandler, you don't have to do this. And it's not your fault, okay?" She looked up into his eyes seriously. "There's always two people involved. I wanted this just as much as you that night. And if I remember correctly, it was even me who seduced you, so..."

He grinned slightly at the thought of their first night together, nodding slowly. Then he looked down into her blue eyes.

"For what it's worth - I would have done it again every single time. I don't regret anything that happend that night."

Monica choked back tears when she felt his hand on top of her abdomen, carefully rubbing it even though there was nothing to be seen yet.

"I love you," she whispered before leaning in to kiss him. His lips brushed against hers softly, giving her all the confidence she needed.

"I love you, too. Both of you. And I know we can do this together."

They both jumped apart when a crashing voice filled the room, abruptly ending their moment together.

Judy was standing in the door, a shocked expression on her face. She was surrounded by the broken pieces of china that covered the floor. Neither of them said a word, all three of them too shocked of what had just happened.

"Judy, is everything alright?!" Jack entered the room, closely followed by Ross as they noticed the mess.

Monica bit her lip hard, not sure just how much of her conversation with Chandler her mother had actually overheard. Judging by the porcelain on the floor, she assumed more than either of them had wanted her to hear.

"I... I need to...-" Judy excused herself before hurrying out of the room, leaving the two Geller men with confused looks behind.

"What happened?" Ross looked at Chandler inquisitively, noticing both his and his sister's flustered expressions.

"Ah... I think there's something else you need to know," Chandler nodded as he guided Monica over to the living room. The men exchanged some looks before following, Jack calling for Judy to join them. It took a while for all of them to sit around the coffee table in the living room, Judy's face still a mix of surprise and shock.

Chandler looked at Monica before taking her hand between his, trying to prepare himself for what was about to happen.

"Judy... what you have overheard is true."

Chandler watched as Ross and Jack exchanged glances between the couple and Judy, who was apparently suffering from another heart attack.

"Monica and I... we're going to have a baby together. We didn't plan for this to happen and we know it's going to be really tough, but we also know that we can manage it, together. But we need your support, too. I have yet to tell my parents but I'm sure they will be there for us as well. We just want you all to be okay with it and to help us when things get rough because we need you in this."

Monica swallowed hard, trying to read the expressions on her family's faces. Jack was the first one to get up and to pull Monica into an embrace.

"Of course we'll be there for you. I'll always be there for my little Harmonica," Jack held his daughter close when all of a sudden she started to cry softly.

"Thank you. It's just... I'm really relieved. We were so scared to tell you and I know that you are not thrilled about this, and you don't have to. But I just need to know that you'll be there for us," she choked out.

Ross breathed out and went over to give his sister a hug as well. "Of course, Mon. It'll be okay." He shot his mother a look and finally, Judy walked over to her daughter as well.

Monica choked back tears as she looked up at her mom, not sure what to expect. Judy pushed some of her dark hair behind her ear, giving her a soft smile. "We'll be supportive, sweetie. As long as you are sure that this is what you want," she looked at Chandler for a second, "there is no doubt that we will be there for you."

Monica was speechless as she hugged her mother more tightly, mumbling something that sounded like 'thank you' into Judy's shoulder.

"Trust me, once this little one is here, you will forget about all the trouble you've had to go through and will have to go through. I remember what it's like," she smiled softly at her daughter.

Chandler had a hard time to believe that this was the horrible monster that had made Monica feel like crap in the past. He knew they were still in for a lot of emotional moments, but knowing that their families would be there for them and their unborn baby made him feel more confident that everything would work out for them.

[-]

Chandler parked the car in front of Monica's dorm, letting out a sigh of relief.

"That went better than I thought it would have," he admitted as he gave Monica a small smile, turning to look at her in the passenger seat.

"Yeah," she smiled softly and unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn.

"Looks like you two need a good night's sleep," he looked at her admiringly, his heart about to combust with how much love he felt for the woman in front of him.

She just nodded as her head was still leaning against the headrest, turning slightly to face him, a smile playing around her lips.

All of a sudden he felt her small hand on top of his.

"Thank you, Chandler. For being here for me. For us. I know there's not a lot of guys out there who would do the same," she whispered.

He looked at her intensely, not a single doubt in his mind. Hell, yes, he had been afraid. And he would be lying if he said he still wasn't. But there had not been one second that he thought of leaving her.

Chandler looked down for a second, her hand still in his as he shrugged.

"We're in this together, remember? I'm not going to leave."

She looked up into his blue eyes that held so much love for her.

Instead of replying, she just nodded.

"You coming with me? I still got some space in my bed and could really use the company," she winked.

He grinned before placing his lips on hers.

"Always."


End file.
